Guns Don't Kill People... Dumbasses Kill People

OPEN THREAD THURSDAY

Every Thursday, LYRC opens up to you. Tell us what's on your mind.
Enjoy. [THIS IS AN AUTOMATED POST.]

OPEN THREAD THURSDAY MONDAY

Every Thursday, LYRC opens up to you. Tell us what's on your mind.
Enjoy. [THIS IS AN AUTOMATED POST.]

Yes, Kelly's right. The machines took over today. But I'll outsmart them yet!

OPEN THREAD THANKSGIVING

I'm thankful for my fiance, my family, my career, my surprising good mental health, my Democratic congress, my fellow bloggers, the future of this blog (exciting things on the horizon), and you for being here to read this. I'm also thankful that I'm not doing homework on this day like last year. Happy Thanksgiving. And please, think briefly about smallpox infected blankets today, if only for a second.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's as good a man as you could hope for to spend your Thanksgiving with. He's got your next five nights taken care of.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Have lots of food, lots of drink, sit back & digest, then do it all over again.

Analyzing Scumbags

Here's a super-funny joke: Vatican Concludes Study on Condoms

"We have prepared a detailed study on condoms from both the scientific and moral points of view and we have passed our study on to the Congregation for the Faith," Barragan said. "Now the dossier is being studied by that office and then it will go before the pope."

You're welcome.

Robert Altman 1925–2006

Over the weekend, my fiance and I watched Short Cuts, which she had never seen. After the movie, she agreed that the movie is good but remarked, "I guess I'm just not a Robert Altman kind of girl." Fair enough. But I certainly an a Robert Altman kind of boy. From his greatest achievements to his near misses to even his WTFs, his body of work is one of the greatest in film history. A master.

Moment of profound silence for one of my all time favorites, Robert Altman.





























UPDATE: I rewrote a sentence so as not to offend Kelly's prosaic sensibilities.

Heckles For Algernon

I don't know anything about this whole business of Michael Richards and The Laugh Factory, but when I saw Paul Rodriguez venting his righteous indignation, well, it became clear that I was dumberer than I knowed.

Frankly, I'm not the slightest bit familiar with the various contracts (union or otherwise) which cover the rights and responsibilities of stand-up comedians, vaudeville acts, circus performers, acrobats, improvisers and the like. Nevertheless, I assume that when a performer is a paid professional and is appearing on a professional stage for the sole purpose of providing live entertainment, that making an unauthorized recording of said performance is, well… illegal. The proprietary rights to the performance belong to either the performer or the producing entity by agreement between them unless otherwise stipulated in writing – don't they? Or am I wrong about this? Although there are probably a lot of specifics I'm not aware of, that sounds reasonable in principle, doesn’t it? If it does, then it would follow that the venue has a responsibility to protect the performer against unauthorized recording by audience members (especially when such recordings are thereafter distributed worldwide to the everlasting detriment of the performer's career). If that's the case, then it seems to me that Paul Rodriguez should be apologizing to Michael Richards, rather than castigating him on national television.

I mean, hell... if I were Michael Richards I'd sue that uppity quadroon for all he's worth.

Skateboarding Girls

Man, sometimes I hate the internet the way you hate your only real friend because as much as you'd like to go out and meet new people you can't because you're a doof and your friend is only your friend because they don't mind that you're a doof.

Sweet Jesusy Goodness

More: Devil Is A Liar

OPEN THREAD THURSDAY

Every Thursday, LYRC opens up to you. Tell us what's on your mind.
Enjoy. [THIS IS AN AUTOMATED POST.]

Stormy Weather

Now that the elections are over, we can all get back to blogging about things that really matter.

By late Wednesday night, NE winds - expected to strengthen slowly but steadily during the day - are likely to be gusting to 40 m.p.h. at times, delivering rain nearly horizontally. The gale force winds are likely to churn Lake Michigan into a sea of whitecaps and could build waves 8-10 ft. tall by Thursday.

It's going be an excellent night to make popcorn.

ADDITIONALLY: Well, even though I missed it when it happened, I’m overjoyed that Radar is back (here's a history). It's the best damn periodical out there.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: K-Lass.

Jack Palance 1919–2006

Believe it or not. Moment of silence for Jack Palance

OPEN THREAD THURSDAY

Every Thursday, LYRC opens up to you. Tell us what's on your mind.
Enjoy. [THIS IS AN AUTOMATED POST.]

Ed Bradley 1941–2006

Moment of silence for 60 Minutes coorespondent Ed Bradley.

The Defeated Speak

The results are in. All the Republican apologists and spin-doctors – from James Taranto to Rush Limbaugh – are chalking their humiliating loss up to this: Republicans weren’t Republican enough. Their principle argument is that the American people took them out to the woodshed for a hellacious “thumpin’” because they spent too much money. Oh sure, they’re acknowledging all the rest of it parenthetically, but that’s the big talking point. What’s the rationale behind this assessment? Simply this: it’s what they want to believe. In short, they’ve learned nothing. Not a goddamn fucking thing. This is really amazing. Really. All this time many of us were under the impression – usually unspoken – that they were just being combative in a manner typical of partisan stalwarts. Nope. They were deaf. It literally didn’t register with these weasels that Americans would rather not be associated with sexualized torture, secret prisons, empirical executive power, the hard bigotry of evangelical Christianity, corporate profiteering, and… I could go on and on. No. Americans loved all that. What they hated was all the dastardly “entitlement spending”. For the good of the country, and for the good of humanity, these sadistic twits need to spend as much time “in the wilderness” as it takes before we allow them back onto the playground. They need to think about what they’ve done – no matter how long it takes.

Dear Madame Speaker...

Congratulations on becoming the first woman to serve as Speaker of the House. It's a momentous day in American politics.

Like you really care, Madame Speaker, but I'd like to offer you a few suggestions.

First, and most importantly, please please please don't squander this opportunity. Expose everything this administration has done. Let the country and the world know that the President doesn't speak for the citizens of this country but only for himself and his cronies. You won't be able to stop the bullshit immediately, but make everyone understand through legislation and investigation the bullshit that must to stop so we can put an end to it in 2008.

There's got to be a way to impeach Rumsfeld. You can't impeach the President—that's just going to look like sour grapes after Monica Lewinsky. However, really drive home the message that our soldiers are dying in vain by going after the guy who was supposed to be running that particular show. (UPDATE: Never mind.)

I'm thrilled that you want to raise the minimum wage. While you're at it, think you could reinstate The Metric Board? After all, money is based on multiples of 100, and while we're dealing with all of those zeros, why not extol the virtues of kilometers and kilograms? (By the way, that was pretty slick politicking getting minimum wage referendums on the ballot in key states to get your base out. Don't think I didn't know what y'all were up to.)

I know that the management of elections are up to the states, but you must enact some legislation about those electronic voting machines before the 2008 election. If the Republicans are opposed to a bill meant to ensure that every vote counts the way it's supposed to, that's going to make them look really greedy and mendacious, don't you think?

You're going to start talking seriously about stem cell research, and the Reckless Republicans are going to start playing the God card. Don't break. Science and God have been at odds for centuries (Galileo, anyone?). Keep reminding the American public that science shows us the wonders of the universe. If, for the sake of argument, the universe was designed, y'know, intelligently, why should we not celebrate those that uncover its beauty and perfection? Besides, scientists designed the missles that have killed thousands of innocent Iraqi and Afghani citizens, and doesn't the Right love those scientists?

Refuse to tolerate corruption and unethical behavior in your own party. If there's a Mark Foley in the Democratic party, don't protect him. Immediately say that the Democratic Party refuses to stand for this kind of behavior. For too long, the Republicans have been hiding their mistakes and refusing to own up to their behavior. When you see a corrupt Democrat, do the right thing. Lead this country by example, not rhetoric.

Finally—I know this is more directed to your party, but you have a lot of clout, so here it goes—whatever you do, do not nominate Hillary Clinton for president in 2008. Sure, she might make a fine president, and I'd gladly and confidently vote for her, but she simply cannot win, especially against a McCain/Guiliani ticket. What's the point of these next two years if they can't make a difference in the following eight years? Take that advice for what it's worth—I was convinced that Howard Dean would be the nominee in 2004, and look what happened: Now he's running your party, and you just kicked ass in a midterm election.

Again, Madame Speaker, you and your party yesterday proved that the citizens of this country won't stand for corruption, cronyism, and borderline fascism. I pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that the results in Virginia and Montana turn your also incredibly skinny friend in the Senate Harry Reid into a Majority leader. Make us proud, and keep the Democratic party as a cohesive whole, united in opposition to the neocon cabal that has damaged this country and this world in ways that will take decades to repair. I'm confident that you'll do everything you can.

Yours,
Arlo Bryan Guthrie

Election

Good riddance.

I only hope Dan Savage's contribution to the sexual vernacular doesn't go away too.

Tough Sell

I was in the Illinois 6th district this evening volunteering for Tammy Duckworth. This report is true and accurate. I was making phone calls for Tammy and repeatedly heard from people who claimed that they had been called by Duckworth to the point of harassment. Other people working the phones were somewhat perplexed and, naturally, wondered if there had been a mix-up with the call sheets. I was pretty sure it was the Republicans.

ADDENDUM: It has nothing to do with anything, but check out the Top 25 Most Conservative Actors.

Cochicken

More.

OPEN THREAD THURSDAY

Every Thursday, LYRC opens up to you. Tell us what's on your mind.
Enjoy. [THIS IS AN AUTOMATED POST.]