Bush Dissembles Again

Yeah, he actually said this:

It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of -- and the allegations -- by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble -- that means not tell the truth.

ADDENDUM: I thought I was done with this post, but I'm not. My apologies. I simply need to stress – with as much ferocity as this petty forum can permit – how very angry I am that George Bush can be so unconscionably audacious as to completely fuck up the English language and then, immediately thereafter, presume to administer a vocabulary lesson with his own ineptitude as its subject.

Bush Tells the Truth for Once

Yeah, he actually said this:

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."

(Via David Corn)

Eddie Albert 1906–2005

Not only was Eddie Albert a great actor, he was an incredibly selfless human being—philanthropic and assertive. He played a major role in banning DDT, for example. However, if there's anything that I'm going to take from this obituary, it's this sentence:

The actor left Hollywood and appeared as a clown and trapeze artist in a one-ring Mexican circus.

Moment of silence for Eddie Albert, star of the one-ring Mexican circus.

Is Our Children Learning?

As I mentioned earlier, I have been reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. I finally finished it last night while slugging down an entire pitcher of sangria at Rioja. The only practical knowledge of the Third Reich that one need possess can, of course, be described thusly:

Hitler's most pernicious impact on everyday life (aside from providing an endless supply of source material for the History Channel) has been in the domain of rhetoric. His fiery brand of speechmaking has all but disappeared, but his name is invoked in arguments all the time as a form of litmus test. In any debate, Hitler's opinion on the subject is automatically the evil one, so it had better be contrary to the side you're arguing.

For the sake of argument, I felt I needed to understand Nazism and Hitler a little better. After all, I wouldn't want to inadvertently espouse one of Hitler's opinions. But it was Goodwin's rule of Nazi analogies that finally convinced me to buy the book:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

Accusations of Nazism are conversation-killers, unsustainable and outrageous. This from MyDD

…I for one despise Nazi comparisons. I am not amused when Janine Garafalo mentions the 43rd Reich, I cringe when I see Nazi spew in the comments here, I say 'Ecch' to all of it. Such comparisons are the stuff of college dorm door decoration, not reasoned debate.

Not at all an uncommon sentiment. Now, I'm a really stupid person. I didn't understand why people would be so prone to accuse their enemies of Nazism, or why people were so outraged by such accusations. I had a basic knowledge of WWII, but never really felt I knew enough about Hitler or Nazism to be able to distinguish whether a particular insult or association regarding their reference was apt or not; the Third Reich, after all, spanned 12 years and involved millions of people and countless protean policies. Furthermore, for something so prosaic in its horribleness, wasn't it undercutting the cautionary nature of its character to ascribe its rhetorical use to mere reductionism?

After finishing the history of the Reich, I naturally understand it more than I did. I feel slightly more qualified to say something like "George Bush is not entirely unlike a Nazi". But it doesn't matter. Whether it's true or not is irrelevant to most people; the association itself will immediately be dismissed as intellectually corrupt. Which is too bad... because it's true.

Point - Counterpoint

Biodiversity Meltdown

Conservative environmentalism is anthropocentric, not biocentric. The environment is a good because it is good for people; mere life, i.e. squirming stuff, is not an end in itself. We protect those parts of the environment, like the air we breathe and the landscapes we cherish, which are of value to us. We do not protect arctic mudflats or trivial little fish just because they exist. The key question to ask about any thing being pondered for environmental protection is: what has it done for us lately? What does it do, other than just exist? [Source]

Have a nice day.

Water? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Water.

Some people (i.e. retards and bedwetters) believe that the principle of "enlightened self-interest" can, if cognitively embraced by a population, assure the success of free-market capitalism without the interference or imposed regulations of government. These people pee in their own beds while they sleep. They pass a third of their lives prostrate and unconscious in warm puddles of their own urine.

A few years I ago I had the privilege of passing a few times through The Panama Canal. Naturally, I was impressed by the scale and serviceability of this engineering marvel. During my mini-education of the Canal Zone, I was told by canal officials that the forested areas within ten miles of the canal were protected from all forms of development so that a high water table, a necessary precondition for the canal to function, would be preserved. Now comes this article explaining that clear cutting, slash-'n-burn, & other forms of deforestation have been occurring for decades within the Canal Zone, threatening the canal – the very economic lifeblood of Panama. Everyone knows that the forests keep the canal running. There's no mystery or secret to this. As far as this elementary knowledge goes, everyone is "enlightened". If nothing else, this is unequivocal evidence that people will, if given the opportunity, willfully disregard a certain pesky qualifier of "enlightened self-interest".

An additional irony in this idiotic turn of events is that the creation of the Panama Canal resulted in the famed Barro Colorado Island, which has yielded a vast cornucopia of data sets illuminating the interconnectedness of species and habitat. It is a remarkable testimony to our capacity for contradiction that we can simultaneously posses the intelligence to understand the causes and consequences of extinction, as well as the stupidity to disregard them.

Confederacy Of Dipwits

It's been awhile since Conservatives have had anything to complain about – and it shows. The pressure seems to have been building. First we have Gary Bauer (Via Josh):

Under this agreement it is now more likely that radical social change will continue to be forced on the American people by liberal courts committed to same sex marriage, abortion on demand and hostility to religious expression. The Republicans who lent their names to this travesty have undercut their President as well as millions of their most loyal voters. Shame on them all.

That was fun. Let's check out what James Dobson had to say:

We share the disappointment, outrage and sense of abandonment felt by millions of conservative Americans who helped put Republicans in power last November. I am certain that these voters will remember both Democrats and Republicans who betrayed their trust.

Are most sentient people are able to recognize fanaticism when they see it? That's a tough call. History is replete with examples of entire populations succumbing to the manipulations of propaganda, demagoguery, and/or religious indoctrination. Still, for all the press guys like Dobson get (and his influence among the devout is substantial; see 1/2 of Jeff Sharlet's latest article on the subject), it's hard to regard them as anything other than charismatic personalities who have become seduced – in a very mundane way - by politics. Consider that the above statements are made in reference to the fact that the traditions of cloture in the Senate remain relatively unchanged. That's it. So why the rhetorical fireworks? Either they're simply run-of-the-mill fanatics, or they're bored and like to say jazzy and provocative things. The real question is, of course, is anybody (aside from Freepers and their ilk) buying this crap.

Thurl Ravenscroft 1914—2005

"Welcome to the afterlife, Mr. Ravenscroft."
"The afterlife? That's grrrrrrreat!"

Moment of silence for Thurl Ravenscroft.




























UPDATE: Shows you how much I know. Thurl Ravenscroft also sang, "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch." (Thanks, Fock.)

The Stupid Shit Conservatives Say

Tim Wildmon:

Whereas our opponents, quite frankly, a lot of them, the ideological opponents, the liberals, they don't have the kind of family responsibilities that most people have, and certainly not church responsibilities. So they've got more time, even though their numbers may be less in the battle, then we do oftentimes.

You're right, Tim. I wouldn't complain about your agenda so much if I would just ascribe to your agenda.

Morning Commute

So, I'm riding the train to work this morning and a man sits down next to me and starts blabbering to himself. I'm trying to read a book and his chattering is very distracting. I suspect that he's a "disturbed" person. In a passive-aggressive fit of pique (and so that I could better focus on my book), I decided to read out-loud as well. I soon realize, however, that the man is actually an orthodox Jew and he's reading/chanting/praying along with his little Talmudic booklet. This makes him no less distracting and annoying, so I don't feel too shabby about having decided to read out-loud. It's the uncomfortable realization that the book I happen to be reading is The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich that makes me feel like a piece of shit.

Revenge of the Nerds

Yesterday had many strange parallels to the days I attended Episode I and Episode II of the Star Wars prequels.

I took the day off from work.

It was a rainy day.

I enjoyed the movies with a good friend (DJ, Chris, and Kurt, respectively) and a new friend (Harry, Frank, and Patrick, respectively).

And all three times, I walked out on a high, having relived childhood memories of seeing lightsabers and Jedis and spaceships on the big screen.

However, yesterday's experience with Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith has one huge difference from the previous two: an hour after the movie, I still liked it.

Is it the brilliant movie we all wanted Lucas to produce? No. We've aggrandized Lucas to mythical status, only to learn that while is a master craftsman at telling stories with pictures, he simply can't tell a story with people.

Is the dialogue stilted in Ep.III? Yes, but far less so than previous episodes. Thankfully, the humor has returned to Star Wars. Perhaps this was the influence of Tom Stoppard, but the movie only takes itself seriously when it needs to, a posture that Ep.II should have taken.

Is the acting poor in Ep.III? Again, yes. Hayden Christiansen may be a fine actor for certain roles, but he simply was never up to the task of portraying the hubris-ridden hero of this Sophoclean fable.

Is there intermittent hokey-ness? Yes. Most disappointingly, what should be the most gut-wrenching, sad, emotionally impacting moment of the entire movie induces an exasperating laugh.

Are any of us who have had faith in Lucas surprised by these complaints? Of course not.

Revenge of the Sith excels by having a compelling story, perhaps the most compelling story of the entire Star Wars series, and I mean all six movies. Contributing the most to the power of the story is Ian McDiarmid. He achieves what only Alec Guiness before him could do—make ridiculous sounding lines carry the portent those lines intend. The movie is incredibly sad, moving at times, and though I didn't cry like that pussy Spielberg, there was some wistfulness enveloping my head when "Directed by George Lucas" was wiped onto the screen.

We also must remember why we really go to moves like Star Wars. As DJ puts it, "Were the ships cool?" Special effects and fights, that's what we go for. And on all counts, Lucas and his crew at ILM has outdone themselves. The movie's opening is breathtaking. The scenes on Kashyyyk were somewhat superfluous, but supercool. The editing is phenomenal, squeezing frightening, portentous moments out of mere seconds. The penultimate lightsaber battle (which we all knew was coming) delivers everything you could hope for and more.

All in all, Revenge of the Sith is as good a movie as the original film ("A New Hope," as George wants us to call it). Some bad dialogue, some bad acting, but a classical story with interesting characters, painterly special effects, and a wry sense of humor. If you are displeased by Revenge of the Sith, you either don't like sci-fi movies or you need to see a doctor and get a prescription to cure you of your fan-boy psychosis. When taken out of the context of the the Star Wars phenomenon and taken at face value, Revenge of the Sith is simply a very fun, very satisfying movie.

Thank you, Lucas. It's about time.

Postscript: A classmate last night made an observation that, while exhibiting that fan-boy (in this case, fan-girl) psychosis, I simply must share: If Kashyyyk is a tropical forest planet, how did Wookies evolve to be incredibly hairy?

UPDATE: I think Will (scroll to the bottom) wouldn't feel so bad if he wasn't drinking a wine cooler. (Via Waxy.)

People of Faith

"People of Faith". That's the phrase. What renders faith unnecessary, beside the point, and mute? Proof. To instill faith in a system, one must begin by acknowledging that faith is necessary, or, rather, that proof is unattainable. This is from today's paper:

A Senate committee defeated a bipartisan effort Wednesday to raise the standard of proof for sentencing a person to death in Illinois by requiring a judge or jury to determine that a defendant is guilty beyond "all doubt."

In order to believe that the death penalty is just, one must have faith in certain moral precepts. For that faith to exist, space must be allowed for it to grow – this space is made possible by the absence of proof. Close your eyes before you make a leap of faith.

We are in the midst of an awakening. "People of faith", as in ages past, are seizing power and demanding to be heard. They are asserting that their "faith" is present in all aspects of their lives; that it should be so present. Whether the issue be evolution, the "faith-based" educational initiative known as "Intelligent Design", the judiciary, WMD, or the votes necessary to achieve cloture, those who rely upon the bedrock of their faith to guide their conscience, rather than any discernible indicators of proof, must, by the very nature of their cause, willfully obscure or otherwise render irrelevant the very concept of certainty. Well, at least earthly certainty.

A person who believes in the power of the blood of Jesus Christ, and who likewise has faith that the words in the King James Bible are the unvarnished and literal truth, is unlikely (in theory) to ever experience the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance; attitude, emotion, and logic are united under an all-inclusive supernatural protectorate. However, visit some right-wing websites and you'll surely find Democrats being repeatedly and forcefully accused of "cognitive dissonance". While most people employ this phrase because it sounds lofty and has the patina of a physiological diagnosis, it nonetheless accurately reflects the utter horror that "people of faith" feel when it comes to ascribing relative values in the face of moral contradictions. The irony, of course, is that Herculean mental and spiritual efforts to minimize such contradictions are the bailiwick of the very religions that bind conservatives together (i.e., neo-conservativism, evangelical Christianity, et al.); the very same malignant function that cognitive dissonance is supposedly performing in the fevered minds of Democrats!

The upshot is that Conservativism's deeply ingrained reliance on "faith" is essentially a Deus ex machina of cognitive dissonance.

Frank Gorshin 1934–2005

Not only was he The Riddler (and arguably a far better Riddler than that Jim Carrey hack), he was also a fantastic voice actor. And he was super super great in Twelve Monkeys. He's on CSI tonight, the two-hour dealie directed by Quentin Tarantino. Since I don't own a VCR or a TiVo, can someone please tape it for me?

Moment of silence for Frank Gorshin.

Star Wars: The Definitive Critique

Montrose Harbor Bird Sanctuary

Equipped with binoculars, a bottle of water, and Kenn Kaufman's Field Guide to Birds of North America, I set off early this last weekend to the Magic Hedge. Being a sub-amateur birder (and certifiable moron), I was only able to identify a few swallows, shorebirds, gulls, and some flickers. Particularly abundant were Red-winged Blackbirds (Agelaius phoeniceus) and the American Robin (which has the unfortunate Latin handle Turdus migratorius). It was a very pleasant experience. Spring migration is, I'm told, the best of times for birding in Chicago.

Exegesis of an Uber Post

Tom DeLay is a douchebag.

The Influence Of Images

I rented The Corporation last night. There are some nice bits therein (including informative and concise sound bites from Noam Chomsky, Michael Moore, and the tireless & maniacal Charles Kernaghan). Overall, however, it's a piece of shit. Cleverly asserting that the "personhood" of corporations is, quite literally, psychopathic, it relies heavily on cutesy footage and arguments that are both obvious and archaic. Documentary activism is in a woeful state. Films that attempt to achieve the gravitas of legitimate journalism as well as the profundity of historical monographs come off as little more than dilettantes; which seems to be a perfectly laudable goal to some of these people. The truth, even if it is incontrovertible, becomes little more than agitprop bullshit in the hands of over-zealous and/or amateurish wannabes.

Is This The Way To Amarillo, however, is a film worth watching. As activism, it is extremely effective. While I have been anti-war from the get-go, this short piece of footage - which offers a rare glimpse into the daily lives of combat soldiers – fills me with incredible pride and love for our troops.

[Gracias Stiggie]

About Us

Kelly and I agonized for what seemed like minutes writing the "About Us" that you now see in the right-hand column. Mad propz go to Dr. Smith for (a) providing us a great launching point, and (b) knowing so much about Kelly and I without Kelly or I having any idea who the hell he is.

You'll also note that I've resolved the occassional issue that has come up about some of our links being kind of, well, inappropriate. Kelly and I discussed it, and we agree that jarring moments are part of what makes the web exciting.

You click a link.
Where will it go?
What will I see?

So while we've agreed that any link that is inarguably inappropriate for work should be labeled with an NSFW, there exists a gray area of what is SFW. Perhaps it's a cop out to say, "If you see something you didn't want to see, it's your fault," but that simply isn't the case. The internet is dangerous; we enjoy adding to that danger. If you aren't prepared for it, please read our blog somewhere you can watch a guy get kicked in the boner or see what Leonard Nimoy is up to.

Kelly and I have also agreed to make a third group of links in the right hand column for the NSFW stuff. However, it may be a while before I can set that up, so continue to proceed with caution. (You should be old enough to know that a link called sexblo.gs is perhaps NSFW.)

And if you hate this policy, that's why we have comments, and that's why you have a back button. To our dedicated readers, we love you.

Hello Again

I have nothing say about anything, and that's why I haven't posted in awhile. My niece is being born today. Man, I wonder what it must be like to be born during the Bolton nomination.

Star Wars Art

Drawn! linked to Ralph McQuarrie's website, the production artist for the original Star Wars trilogy. I especially liked this painting that shows a Stormtrooper with a light saber and others with shields. The environment is very THX-1138. And check out this original concept for Yoda.

Good gravy, I'm a nerd.

Microsoft

I'm sorry I haven't been writing about politics lately. I'm starting to wonder how many times I can write DeLay is a douchbag, Iraq is a mess, hey look at North Korea, Christiantiy needs to get the fuck out of government... It's not that I don't care. It's not that I don't contribute. Perhaps it's that I have so little steam with work and school that the blog has become, for me at least, an escape.

Perhaps that's why many of my posts lately have been about nerdy things.

So to fill space, here's two things about Microsoft I'd like to say:

1. Microsoft to sell antivirus software with a monthly fee. See, you can buy our shitty operating system that is highly suseptible to exploits, and then pay us monthly to prevent anyone from exploiting those holes. Why don't you just fix the holes?
   
   
2. A lot of people are thinking it's ugly, but I think the XBOX360 is an attractive piece of hardware:
   
   
   
   Then again, I'm biased:
   
   

Unmarked Anniversary

True story.

ADDENDUM:

Paula Villacis

Things Arlo Simply Doesn't Care About

Yes, the blog has gotten to the point where I'm simply ripping off Kelly.

1. The Catholic Church.
2. Anal sex.
3. Orlando Bloom.
4. Horsepower.
5. Water sports (both denotations).
6. Runaway brides.
7. Emphysema.
8. Crack. (See also #2).
9. What your tiny, drop-kickable dog did.
10. Pop country music.

All The World's A Prison

The LYRC staff went on a field-trip a few days ago to see Todd Solondz' latest film, Palindromes (check out Roger Ebert's excellent review). Sometimes, a scientific view of humanity is the only way to unmask beauty, at least insofar as (a) objectivity is a stated goal and (b) moral prejudices are actively squelched in scientific endeavors. That said, the brilliance of Palindromes lies in the adroit manner in which it prevents the audience from reverting to ingrained habits of moral quantification. The central conceit of the movie is that the leading character is portrayed by a series of actors; as each one appears we see her from a unique emotional and ethical viewpoint. In our current political climate, it sometimes seems impossible to rely upon one's own conscience when confronted with difficult ethical dilemmas, being that it has become the central preoccupation of our government, our press, our families, and our religious organizations to educate us – in no uncertain terms – regarding the correct posture of our conscience on any given matter. Perhaps for this very reason, the moral quandaries of the damned have always been of particular interest to me (as they appear to be to Solondz as well); after all, we're all damned in our own unspeakable way. If you're interested in seeing a movie that is not "on message", buy a ticket to Palindromes. However, if you're simply interested in laughing so hard you pee yourself, buy a ticket to see Steve Walker dance around in his underpants to that "Mexican shit" in Famous Door's Suburban Motel.

Things I Simply Don't Care About

1. Celebrity Trials
2. Sports
3. Dr. Gupta
4. Israel
5. Box office receipts
6. Chocolate
7. Consumer Confidence
8. Kwanza
9. Carbs
10. Sex toys

What's Good For The Goose

…it was then that I was carrying you

The War on Animals continues unabated:

Police said an adult goose hissed at [John A.] Sanders, who then slipped and fell in the mud. Then, the police report said, ''angered by this fall, he began his rampage, chasing the goslings and kicking them."

[…] A witness allegedly saw Sanders grab the goose and kick it, police said. Then, they said, Sanders ran down a grassy stretch, shouting, and stopped to jump up and down.

The witness called police, who said they found two goslings flattened on the parking lot and three more dead on the grass.

The goose was taken to an animal hospital in West Bridgewater, but its injuries were too severe and it was euthanized yesterday, said Karen Harvey, an Attleboro animal control officer.

Officials said they think the dead goose was the goslings' mother.

Officer Steven Beaudet of Attleboro police, a military veteran who served in Afghanistan, said police were shaken by the gruesome scene.

As shocking as this tale may be, it's important for us to acknowledge that the severity of Mr. Sanders' actions will send an unequivocal signal (and thereby serve as a significant deterrent) to other geese who may feel inclined to waddle about hissing at their betters.

Happy Monday

Back To Say Goodbye?

A few days ago I read a story about how the final push in the filibuster brouhaha would begin this very week. Over the weekend, Tim Russert brought two Senatorial bobble-heads onto his television program to discuss it. Today, I read about U.S. forces mounting an offensive near the Syrian border with Iraq (…"one of the largest ground operations by American forces since the fall of Falluja last fall, [the offensive] is expected to last several days"). How is Karl Rove supposed to achieve his "permanent republican majority" if all we ever get from the Republicans is arrogance and death?

*Sigh*.

Happily, all is not yet completely lost. Indeed, the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker has been found alive; which is very swell news indeed. I made a visit to the Field Museum yesterday and discovered that one of the ornithologists from the Museum (who, incidentally, had traveled to the swampy south to verify the existence of the Lord God Bird) was exhibiting specimens and fielding questions. Tremendous. Also, for those who may be unaware, the birds collection at the filed museum (while sadly presented) is quite spectacular. They have a gorgeous Paradisaea rudolphi.

Fun With Quotes

I was flipping through my copy of Alexis De Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, and I came across this passage that I underlined several years ago:

In democracies private citizens see men rising from their ranks and attaining wealth and power in a few years; that spectacle excites their astonishment and their envy; they wonder how he who was their equal yesterday has today won the right to command them. To attribute his rise to his talents or his virtues is inconvenient, for it means admitting that they are less virtuous or capable than he. They therefore regard some of his vices as the main cause thereof, and often they are correct in this view. In this way there comes about an odious meaning of the conceptions of baseness and power, of unworthiness and success, and of profit and dishonor.

I thought that this was worth sharing. I hope you enjoyed it.

The Rebellion Is Sucking

The Spoonbender lays it out:

I'm worried about today's youngsters, and it's not for the reason you might think -- that rap music is turning them all into fucking wiggers. No, I'm worried about them because time and time again they've proven that they're easily the stupidest youngsters in the history of our nation.

I know what you're thinking. Surely youngsters are no stupider today than they were, say, in the 1970's? And if they are, it can't be all that much stupider. Unfortunately for you, I disagree, so prepare to be persuaded.

Take this story as an example. It details the recent introduction of a marijuana-flavored lollipop called Chronic Candy, and the sale of said to today's youngsters.

In the 1970's, children frequently smoked marijuana. Some said this was a reaction to the general malaise felt by the country during the waning years of the Vietnam War. Others attribute it to a loosening of moral standards following the excesses of the late '60's. No matter the reason, they used marijuana because they wanted to feel euphoric, relaxed, and generally delightful.

Some speculate that the nation is in the throes of a similar malaise today. There are certainly parallels -- we're involved in an occupational war that appears to be without end, energy prices are rising, and the economy is languishing. And yet the reaction of today's youngsters is to eat a marijuana-flavored lollipop.

A couple of years ago I was distributing flyers for a theatre company at a pro-hemp event on the Chicago lakefront. I bought a few of these marijuana lollipops out of curiosity. Sure, they were tasty – they were also retarded. Furthermore, while I think Mr. Spoonbender is often mean-spirited, his wit is unquestionable and (in this case) persuasive.

Today’s youth have demonstrated a serious lack of antiestablishmentarianism. This is distressing. Perhaps it is contributing to the malaise of those of us who have unwittingly passed into our thirtysomething years. Fuckin’ kids.

Why WSJ Blows

James Taranto, the font of intellectual excrement that writes for OpinionJournal’s “Best of the Web Today”, has tapped an article in Nature.com to bolster his moronic right-wing view of science. Tananto quotes the following:

Our planet's air has cleared up in the past decade or two, allowing more sunshine to reach the ground, say two studies in Science this week.

Reductions in industrial emissions in many countries, along with the use of particulate filters for car exhausts and smoke stacks, seem to have reduced the amount of dirt in the atmosphere and made the sky more transparent.

That sounds like very good news. But the researchers say that more solar energy arriving on the ground will also make the surface warmer, and this may add to the problems of global warming. More sunlight will also have knock-on effects on cloud cover, winds, rainfall and air temperature that are difficult to predict.

In typical form, Taranto accepts the results of the study insofar as they confirm a reduction of particulate pollutants, but not insofar as such a reduction “may add to the problems of global warming”; a classic example of the right-wing’s capacity to absorb scientific findings. Scientists are so silly! If the air is cleaner, how can there be such a thing as global warming!?

Here’s a snippet from the article that Taranto conveniently ignores:

…black particulate matter in the air has been contributing a cooling effect to the ground. "It is clear that the greenhouse effect has been partly masked in the past by air pollution," says Andreas Macke, a meteorologist at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences in Kiel, Germany.

My point in mentioning any of this is simple: political ideologues (of any stripe) are the wrong place to turn for scientific (i.e. factual) information. They spin it. They convert truth into bullshit and have absolutely no interest in understanding reality. Taranto only understands global warming as a political hacky sack; nothing more. Heat-trapping gases don’t necessarily trap light. That’s a fact.

ADDENDUM: By the way, global warming is a result of heat being admitted into the atmosphere and not being let out.

Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.

Via Low Culture comes good news that I hadn't heard yet:

[Hayden] Christensen also confirmed recently that Lucas got a helping hand with the script for Revenge of the Sith. In an interview with Playboy, he said the rumours about playwright Tom Stoppard working on the dialogue for the film are true.

Stoppard, known for stage works like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, gave the Lucas-penned screenplay a more 'human' dimension, Christensen said.

So unless Darth Vader comes off as "pithy," this development could make a huge difference. Lucas can't direct actors, but the movies have been chock full of good actors with nothing good to say. With something good to say and lots of rock-'em-sock-'em action, I may actually have a reason to get my hopes up.

Kelly's Dream Girl

Lesley (remember her?) sent me this great image of a Geisha apparently about to be sick:



She doesn't remember where she found it, but I still wanted to post it because, well, it's a puking geisha. How cool is that?

"You can't have a one-person conspiracy."

From the BBC News account of the Lynndie England guilty-plea rejection:

[Pte Charles Graner] said the pictures he took were meant to become a legitimate training aid.

However, Pte England testified at the court martial in Texas that she knew the pictures were taken purely for the amusement of the guards.

Col Pohl said the two statements could not be reconciled, and added: 'You can't have a one-person conspiracy.'

I'm not sure what this means in legal terms, but it seems that there will be a new trial for England.

My laymen's view is this: how the bloody hell is this a "training aid"?

FIGURE 2: When humiliating a devout Muslim by forcing him to masturbate, remember the acronym TUPAC: Thumb Up, Point, And Cackle.

Again, I don't know jack from shit, but if there are to be any new charges, perhaps perjury charges against Graner are in order.

UPDATE: Before I'm flamed too much in the comments: I understand full-well the implications of this ruling. It means the investigation can go further and can go higher up. This wasn't the whim of a few prison guards; this was encouraged behavior. If anything, both Graner and England lied under oath in order to take the fall for this whole ordeal. Somehow, they didn't get their stories straight. I only meant to point out the ridiculousness of Graner's excuse. No, I did not miss the point or stray from my bleeding-heart, Jane-Fonda-heavy-petting liberal agenda.

How would you describe us?

I've changed the subtitle above to the one I've always used in my email signature. And now I've added the "About Us" doohickey in the right column. So how would you describe this blog? I'm not being lazy—I'm sincerely interested. I'm open to your suggestions in the comments. (Especially you, Kelly.)

UPDATE: Dr. Smith may have hit the nail on the head. Can you top it?

William Tell Takes One In The Dome

I like the law. I like the deliberative, bureaucratic nature of it. It's comforting. Whatever else occurs, as long as the legal framework underpinning our society is strong we will always have recourse to justice. In theory. And that, folks [slams fist into table], is why articles like this (by Tom McNichol in Wired) fill me with such disgust. Here's the gist:

Steve Jobs will do anything to protect his precious secrets. So he's suing Apple's biggest fans.

[…] The suit alleges that [Nick] Ciarelli violated the Uniform Trade Secrets Act by soliciting information from sources inside Apple and posting it on his site. Apple demanded that Ciarelli pay damages and hand over his profits.

The company has also hit Think Secret and two other enthusiast sites, PowerPage.org and AppleInsider, with a separate suit, filed to obtain the identities of the people who were leaking product information. In March, a California Superior Court judge ruled that the sites had no right to protect their sources or withhold unpublished material.

[…] "I've done nothing but create community for Apple, and this is what I get," laments Jason O'Grady, who has run PowerPage.org since 1995. "The shine has come off Apple for me."

Running a tightly controlled company has worked well for Jobs. But being a little out of control can pay dividends, too - by fostering creative freedom, not to mention goodwill. Jobs need only look at his own slogans. Life Is Random. Enjoy Uncertainty. At Apple, this is marketing, not a way of life.

Let's start at the top. "Steve Jobs will do anything to protect his precious secrets". That is just a pure motherfucking lie. Is there evidence that he would slit someone's throat? Teabag a goat? No. Mr. McNichol writes, "Apple has turned to its last resort - the courts". Here's the thing: the courts are not a last resort. They are not some terrible, sinister force that only people with black hearts call upon to enforce their macabre designs. The courts are where people and corporations go for their defense, for fairness, for justice. If their grievance is frivolous or unfounded, their litigiousness will backfire. The law is not a spooky bugbear, yet McNichol insists on framing the whole issue of Apple's lawsuits as if it were.

I'll repeat a portion of the above quote: "…a California Superior Court judge ruled that the sites had no right to protect their sources or withhold unpublished material". See that? The court ruled that these sites are not entitled to the same protection as, say, some forms of journistic practice which depend upon confidential sources. Why did the judge rule this way? McNichol doesn’t seem interested in finding out. Instead, he'd like to preserve the sexy narrative of a 19 year old kid being maliciously sued by a big, bad bajillionaire. What a douche bag.

As for the sniveling Jason O'Grady, it's high time that he realize that Apple didn't ask him to "create community", has no obligation to him personally, and is not in the business of making people who profit at it's expense (and then whinge about their supposed altruism) feel accepted and loved. Apple has always had the right to certain legal protections. That it has chosen in the past not to enforce those rights is passing irrelevant with respect to it's decision to have them enforced now.

Indeed, the Apple slogans are "marketing"; if this is a personal affront to Mr. McNichol, he should take a minute or two and figure out how he can cease to be such an enormous douche bag. People who aren't douche bags don't fetishize marketing campaigns.

Buttmunch Does Faceplant

The only thing funnier than watching this short video, is watching me watch the video while suffering from a head cold. Why? Well, because you'd hear a snorfling & choked guffaw followed shortly thereafter by a hilarious visual: a long stream of transparent mucus jettisoning from my right nostril, solidly connecting to the lower part of my computer screen, and forming a swinging bridge of snot between my face and my computer.

Other people's pain is soooo funny.

[Gracias Stiggie].

Bitter And Angry

I’ve got nothing to say.

Close To Giving Up Hope

Agent Orange v. Photoshop

I'd just like to make a simple point. Reality, including factual representations of existing phenomenon, has proven to be completely ineffectual against propaganda and bullshit. What to I mean by "propaganda and bullshit"? Well, I mean the following: (a) news analysis, (b) opinion, (b) commentary, (c) punditry, (d) press releases, (e) press briefings, and (f) anything that is prefaced by the phrase "If you think about it…".

I have neither the time nor the inclination to seek out all the relevant facts of a matter. Therefore, I pay (indirectly) journalists to seek out these things for me. They're supposed to have better access to facts, a keener sense of what is relevant, and the training to efficiently filter massive amounts of data. Unfortunately, journalism has been corrupted beyond belief by bullshit and propaganda. It's not so much that I can't trust what I read, it's simply that what I read is uninformative.

Please, if you know of any throwback operations that are turning out material that is factual, pertinent, and well-researched, let me know.