I live

Ok, I'm sitting here in Deming, NM, with Ma and Pa Ragsdale. Friday, I'm back to Tucson, AZ for new year's eve. Then, off to LA to take over and force Hollywood to make some decent monster movies for a change.

What can I tell ya; A blizzard in Texas, spazzing cats the whole way, good country radio, bad country radio, way tooo much weed in AZ, and here we are.

Now we just need to find a job or two, so that we can eat and go to Disneyland for my birthday.

Tra la la--I'm absolutely exhausted, thus even less interesting and relevant than usual. I promise to be scintillating next post.

Just by the way, I'm in a pretty good mood about things, glad to be here, looking forward to the future. And if anyone finds my optimism revolting or offensive, please do feel free to keep it to yourself.

Anybody got a knife I can borrow?

Arlo wrote his 2004 Year in Review, so it's only fair that I get to write mine.

2004 was all about endings. Conclusions. Goodbyes.

Defiant Theatre closed forever.
My relationship with my girlfriend ended.
Several friends quit Chicago and moved to L.A.
Toby Keith put his boot in the ass of the DNC.
Over 120,000 people met their end in Indonesia and evirons.

…fuck it. This Year in Review stuff is way too depressing.

I'm going to the titty bar.

[door slam]

The Lord's Anger

Thank you, eponymagain. That's worth sharing.

Losing Sleep over the Tsunamis

So not only are you tossing and turning about the daily increasing death toll, photos like this, and the US pledge to spend 0.0175% of what it has spent turning Iraq into a complete mess, now comes news that you've lost 3 microseconds of available sleep time:

Richard Gross, a geophysicist with NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California, theorized that a shift of mass toward the Earth's center during the quake on Sunday caused the planet to spin 3 microseconds, or 3 millionths of a second, faster and to tilt about an inch on its axis.

Still no word on how Fox News is blaming liberals for the earthquake.

Random Quarks of Non-Meaning

Here we go again. The President has announced the formation of an international coalition to address something he describes as "beyond our comprehension". The déjà vu coup de grâce – he did it all while on vacation.

Proud to be a Liberal? JBJ's U.S. Attorney General, Ramsey Clarke, has announced that he is "honored" to join the defense team of Saddam Hussein.

Chicago keeps trying to rekindle the spirit of 1871. Well, either that or Donald Trump is getting impatient. (On a personal note, I'm getting rather tired of seeing smoke from burning buildings outside my office windows).

Finally. Chicago police accept responsibility - for reducing crime. How magnanimous of them.

Jerry Orbach 1935–2004

"This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine or police dogs used in Birmingham." From Dirty Dancing.

Moment of silence for Jerry Orbach.

The Real Truth About Social Security

"…poor judgment…poor policy…ill-founded policy…Poor policies…bad policy". Thus opines Edward C. Prescott on the character and lineage of Social Security. Of the conservative arguments for the privatization of Social Security, Paul Krugman recently wrote:

Social Security is a government program that works, a demonstration that a modest amount of taxing and spending can make people's lives better and more secure. And that's why the right wants to destroy it.

As if in a direct rebuke of this attack, Mister (oh how WSJ loves that word) Prescott assures us all that he hasn't a politically motivated bone in his body:

Why a politician from any party would want to intentionally destroy a retirement program meant to benefit the elderly is beyond me. Such political claptrap makes me glad I'm an economist.

Did you catch the stink-eye? Paul Krugman, you see, is an economist too! -- Meeow! But to the point. Ed Prescott says that the Social Security in its current form is just plain dreadful and needs to be "rebuilt", primarily so that people can express their "rationality" by being liberated from – you guessed it - taxes!

Would […] changes in tax rates and changes in government promises affect labor supply? Theory says "yes," the statistical evidence agrees, and common sense concurs.

Perhaps insofar as everything "affect[s] labor supply". Yes, Virginia, things other than tax cuts can create jobs (a quick Google search turned up Physics, Renewable Energy, Less pollution, Outsourcing, Wal-Mart, Hire-'N-Fire, Gravity Research, Medical Privacy, Tourism, Civil Justice Reform, Immigration, and a disabled shoe repairman in South Africa). As for the theory he proposes, well…10 minutes before I read Mister Prescott's article, I came across this passage in a little unrelated reading:

…while the social sciences are truly science, when pursued descriptively and analytically, social theory is not yet true theory. The social sciences [which included economics] possess the same general traits as the natural sciences in the early, natural-history or mostly descriptive period of their historical development. From a rich data base they have ordered and classified social phenomena. They have discovered patterns of communal behavior and successfully traced interactions in history and cultural evolution. But they have not crafted a web of causal explanation that successfully cuts down through the levels of organization form society to mind and brain. Failing to probe this far, they lack what can be called a true scientific theory. Consequently, even though they often speak of "theory" and, moreover, address the same species and the same level of organization, they remain disunited.

I thought that was interesting. As for common sense, well…Albert Einstein said it best: "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

Why does everyone with an ideology always insist that they're not ideological?

Susan Sontag, 1933-2004

I have long had a shameful open secret: I don't read books written by women. I'm a complete sexist in this regard. It is a terrible truth and I'm not proud of it. I do make repeated attempts from time to time to cure myself of this crippling intellectual bias. Occasionally, I succeed. I owe my successes to Susan Sontag. Her brilliant introduction to Antonin Artaud: Selected Writings (which I read years ago and which still stands proudly on my bookshelf) changed the way I view theatre, art, literature, and women. The intellectual world has dimmed today. Since I blew my daily allowance of silence on the victims of the tsunami, a moment of thanks to Susan Sontag.

Quick & Recent: Regarding the Torture of Others

Schadenfreude In Excelsis

A moment of silence please, in recognition of the catastrophic tragedy that visited the island nations over yon.

[Pause]

Okay. I think that's enough.

This life-threatening cancer makes me want to dance all night and suck on a pacifier.

While perusing the Fox News website searching for how they may be blaming the Liberals for the devastating earthquake and tsunamis, I discovered this article about an upcoming study (pending DEA approval) using ecstacy to ease the mental anguish of terminal cancer patients.

My question is, what is there to study? If I have absolutely no chance of surviving, then you should let me have any and every drug I want. Let me do a Jamaican-hilltop-sized bong hit and down a few gin-and-LSD cocktails—what're you gonna do, arrest me? I'm gonna die any day now. Let me watch the walls breathe and see individual atoms vibrate with quantum energy and express my love for everything and everyone. It's my last chance to try and enjoy what little life I have left, so let me go how I choose to go. That's how Aldous Huxley went—tripping his balls off.

Before our brains shut down forever, don't we deserve a chance to experience everything our brains can truly do?

Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to hearing colors.

Nothing Is Stronger Than Water

It is carved in stone in some comic library that humans will always believe that the horrors of their lives, once experienced, could have been – in some way, in some measure - prevented:

The earthquake that struck northwest of Sumatra, Indonesia, at dawn yesterday was a perfect wave-making machine, and the lack of a tsunami warning system in the Indian Ocean essentially guaranteed the devastation that swept coastal communities around southern Asia, experts said.[...]

"There's no reason for a single individual to get killed in a tsunami," Dr. [Tad] Murty [an expert on the region's tsunamis] said. "The waves are totally predictable. We have travel-time charts covering all of the Indian Ocean. From where this earthquake happened to hit, the travel time for waves to hit the tip of India was four hours. That's enough time for a warning."

Nobody can, or should, be shouldered with the responsibility and shame of not adequately protecting those who died…or who will soon die from various diseases and lingering injuries. However, there is a lesson buried in this story that ought not to (but probably will) be lost in the halls of power: listen to scientists. Mother Nature is a red fanged bitch, more lethal and unforgiving than any terrorist. Pay attention.

Victim in Not Cooperating

News Item:

Police are looking for two women they say sexually assaulted a man with a pair of cooking tongs in a drug-related attack.

Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his body.

The victim, who police say was using cocaine at the time, told police he does not remember much of what happened.

He told doctors he was drinking and using cocaine at his mobile home Friday night when he saw two women outside his home and invited them in.

The victim's cousin took him to Memorial Health University Medical Center Saturday after he complained of pain. Doctors surgically removed an object identified as "one half of a pair of food tongs," and turned it over to police.

No information was available on the man's condition, according to a hospital spokesman.

The two women are wanted on aggravated sexual battery charges, but police say they aren't having much luck finding them.

"We have no descriptions of the women, being that (the victim) is not cooperating with the police," police spokesman Sgt. Mike Wilson said. "And there's little we can do to urge cooperation."

2004 Year in Review

UPDATE: I encourage you to read the comments for this post, as Kelly makes a number of excellent observations.

As I begin this year's annual ultra-meta-mega post, I'm on a shaky flight to Virginia Beach to visit my family for Baby Jesus' birthday. This seems appropriate to mention, since I'm flying from a blue state to a red state. (A red state with a Democratic governor, I should add.)

I often wonder how my conservative, religious family feels about the blog. I'm sure they've read it—every email I send them has a link in the automatic signature that says "Vituperative Bloggery: www.likeyoureallycare.com" No doubt that curious family members have clicked it expecting to find silly black-sheep Arlo doing funny things only to read offensive song lyrics, rants against creationism, and screeds against our president.

So what do they think? Sorry to tell you this, but I'm not going to ask.

You see, last Christmas, I was happy to get in an argument concerning politics with my father or my stepfather because I was confident that Howard Dean would either become our next president or go down in a blaze of glory on November 2 leaving American politics changed forever. I was wrong, and I'm angry in an obsequious way. For my mother's sake, I'm not going to pick any fights during this trip; I'm not going to pull my punches anymore, and I love my family too much to either scream at any of them. God save any of them who pick the fight themselves.

There are lots of theories about why John Kerry lost—electronic voting machines, deceptive Karl Rove tactics, apathetic youth. Sure, these factors contributed but wouldn't have been a big deal had it not been for the fact that the Democrats ran John Kerry. Did the Democrats learn nothing from Dukakis? However, I can't blame the Democrats entirely; Kerry received the most votes in the primaries. So did all of us learn nothing from Dukakis?

As for the election itself, I still find it fascinating that the areas of our country that have the fewest number of homosexuals and the least risk of suffering a terrorist attack overwhelmingly voted for Bush, and yet security and "traditional values" drove their level-pulling and chad-punching claws. As the nerds inquire, WTF?

I re-read the year-end post of 2003, and I'm amazed at how little has changed. We're still seeing Iraq descend into irreparable despair while areas of the world with serious problems, like Sudan, North Korea, and Iran, can't be dealt with properly because we lack the resources. Hell, we don't even have the resources to occupy Iraq. We're still seeing a complete lack of ethics in leadership (see Bernard Kerik, Tom DeLay). We're still seeing the media keep the American public less than adequately informed so they don't see how truly horrible many of these people are.

I can't just sit and dwell, though. It's not about dwelling. It's about looking forward and screaming from the rooftops that privatizing social security is stupid; that teaching students only to pass tests is detrimental to societal growth; that the lie of supply-side economics is that nothing trickles down; that if Starbucks can provide healthcare to its employees, Wal-Mart sure as Hell can; that our country's independence, no matter how bad we wanted it, would seem a lot different if France invaded our country and forced it upon us; that two people who love each other should not be discriminated against; that the religious zealotry of foreign factions does not justify our own religious and jingoistic zealotry.

Plus, there is good news. You may not see this as good news, but I see it as a silver lining. The pharmaceutical industry is getting shithammered. I'm sorry if anyone was struck ill or down by Vioxx or one of any other medicine that was rushed to the marketplace and doctors prescribed with reckless abandon. However, public outrage and opinion should lead government to make some changes to how drugs make it to the marketplace.

Oh, right, the pharmaceutical industry has the government in its pocket. My bad.

As does every other large industry. Damn.

So what are we to do? We can't boycott every company that supports Republicans and/or treats its workers like slaves (or employs slaves overseas). Instead, we have to continue to publicize our opinions in logical ways. Be angry, be loud, but make sense. No conspiracy theories—that just discredits us. All we need are facts. Eventually, our country will come around. It may be a lifelong battle, but we should die trying.

And Nixon's second term didn't go so well. Keep that in mind.

Now is not the time to back down. The next year is only the beginning of a fight that's going to last for several generations. I just can't start at Christmas or I'll make my mother cry. I'm sure you understand.

I always have to mention how I am after another year of blogging. There is finally a light at the end of the school tunnel. Fortunately, the end of that tunnel has a useful degree and ample opportunity. Unfortunately, the tunnel also leads to $40,000 in debt. I turned 30 at a very stressful time in my life. It was very sad and unfortunate, but despite my best efforts, was absolutely necessary. (I won't elaborate more here -- it's not appropriate.) Nevertheless, I came out on top, and now I'm happier than I have ever been in my life, despite all the aforementioned anger. I'm excited about my prospects for the future, and it's about time.

The blog also saw much growth, with the addition of verbose Kelly, raging Temple, and eccentric Richard. I do not consider this my blog anymore; it's our blog. I just get to design it. We also added a comments feature to which many of you are contributing. Thank you for continuing to read and participate and for passing your favorite posts around to your friends. Defiant's web site finally dies at the end of January, so we'll be moving servers soon, which I should have taken care of by mid-January. We'll try to make the move as painless as possible. Blogging has been light this year for me. It will continue to be until I finish school. Kelly, Temple, and Richard will also be here to keep you informed and entertained. Thank you for being you.

As always, we end with music.

Before I get to 2004, I want to change my choice from last year, which was The Rapture's Echoes. I listen to maybe two or three songs on that album still, and many of the other songs just annoy me now. Prefuse 73's "One Word Extinguisher" is still in rotation, and I should have chosen more wisely last year, which I believe I did this year.

The latest Beastie Boys album was a huge disappointment. Bjork finally became completely unlistenable. All of those albums that we were looking forward to this year just let us down. I'd also like to be the first one to say that the Modest Mouse album, while better than most music out there, is the most overrated album of the year.

I did thoroughly enjoy, though, new music from The Hives (most underrated album of the year) and Interpol. If I had to make a choice for the best album I heard this year, it would be The Arcade Fire's "Funeral." However, I'm not qualified to make a grand statement about the best album, only my favorites. This year, it's a tie:

• Madvillian's "Madvilliany" renewed my faith in hip-hop. Thanks to the collaboration between Madlib and MF Doom, I have gone back to listen to Jay-Z and other hip-hop artists to see exactly what they are doing. For reminding me what a great genre of music hip-hop is and for supplanting the first Wu-Tang Clan release as my favorite hip hop album, "Madvilliany" should remain on my iPod for a very long time.
• The 80s are all of a sudden cool again, with groups like Franz Ferdinand (also highly overrated) wearing skinny ties and playing their powerchords as arpeggios. However, one band this year aped New Wave and actually breathed new life into it with fascinating vocal harmonies and song arrangements that tell verse-chorus-verse structures to go screw themselves with a coda. That band is The Futureheads.

Keep reading. Keep commenting. Keep fighting. Thanks.

Vietnam anyone?

Some people might be prone to wonder thusly: “If Bush choked on a pickle the other day, y’all would be blogging up a storm of wry digs…but when dozens are killed in Iraq by mujahideen – silence.” To these people I say this: “Take a long suck off the snotty end of my fuckstick, hombre!” If you read this blog you must know that we hate the troops. We hate God, Freedom and maternal pussy (don’t ask me why, I just work here). We also hate animals…mostly because they’re stupid brutes. When an animal misbehaves by evacuating its bowels onto the futon, we grab it by the scruff and jam its nose in the offending turd and scream, “You see that dipshit!? DON’T CRAP ON THE FUTON!” Then we beat the beast…hard. In a manner of speaking, Bush crapped on the futon back in 2003. The sad reality therefore cannot be denied: there’s crap on the futon.

Holiday Blogging Begins Now

Newsflash

A woman who apparently attempted suicide by setting her Christmas tree on fire was rescued Monday by a game warden and forest ranger who broke into her Corbett Road home, grabbed her from her bed and threw her out a first-floor window to safety. Forest Ranger Peter Pelletier and Game Warden Paul Farrington were hailed as heroes for getting the woman out of the bedroom despite their lack of training in house fire rescues. […]

The incident began shortly before noon when the woman, apparently distraught over relationship troubles with her live-in boyfriend, set fire to the tree, possibly after firing off a few handgun rounds, and then called 911.

Happy Holidays!

More Spam Poetry

From today's Junk folder:

Oops... :)

Wanna see unique capsized exclusive young girls ?

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Young moths best from your dreams today

[link removed]
But a priest's life is not supposed to be well-rounded it is supposed
to be one-pointed -- a compass, not a weathercock.

You have the chance out to see unique new sets
single with new models add and best old too

People usually are the happiest at home.
Energy and persistence alter
all things.

Like You Really Care's "Person of the Year"

Stiggy's Moment of Zen email today said that Time's choice to name the President Person of the Year is a sign of the Apocalypse (the other sign was the line around the block at Borders to meet Clay Aiken).

First of all, I don't think Stiggy believes in God. If he doesn't believe in God, then how can he believe in a divinely planned Apocalypse? This post isn't about skewering Stig's logic, though.

Time doesn't pick Person of the Year based on merit. The choice is made based on importance in history and culture. Hitler, Stalin, Khrushchev, and Ayatullah Khomeini have all graced that pinnacle Time cover, and certainly not for being great humanitarians. Unfortunately, Time has been a little pussy about it lately. It was widely rumored that Time considered Osama bin Laden as 2001's person of the year, only to choose 2008's President-elect Rudy Guiliani.

Let's look at what Time wrote.

First, the photo caption on the web page is hysterical: "Bush, with his beloved dog Barney, enters the Oval Office the back way." (My emphasis.)

Reading the article, it's not about all of the great things Bush has done. It's about how he's done what he did: being a stubborn son of a bitch. Here's how they conclude the article:

For sharpening the debate until the choices bled, for reframing reality to match his design, for gambling his fortunes—and ours—on his faith in the power of leadership, George W. Bush is TIME's 2004 Person of the Year.

Does that sound like a positive assessment?

However, if that's the assessment Time based their choice on, the better choice for Person of the Year would be Karl Rove, and I'm sure there's a story about him in the magazine. Karl Rove is the reason that the debate was what is was, that reality is framed the way they want it framed. Karl Rove is the mastermind behind convincing millions of Americans that homosexuals and the threat of terrorism in large cities (that overwhelmingly voted for Kerry) is more important than their jobs being outsourced to Malaysia or having no access to healthcare or the systematic degradation of public education until there is no other choice but to privatize it and children are learning the atomic weight of bolognium. We lefties don't give Bush enough credit for being a cunning runt. (And we all know what Bush is when he's jogging.) Rove, though, is the shyster in the polyester suit that sold America a crappy car and gave us bad directions.

Therefore, Like You Really Care's Person of the Year is Karl Rove. May he enjoy his mattress of fiery brimstone.

My latest grail--ATTAINED!

Best Buy swore they weren't going to carry it. Gamestop didn't know what I was talking about when I asked for it. Its been sitting on my Amazon wish list for months, overshadowed by Invader Zim dvd's and X-Men games. But today, at last I found it (and at Best Buy--the dirty liars). I hold in my hand the pinnacle (or so I'm told) of modern game design--yes, I am indeed talking about Katamari Damacy!

Dark Gods, I love the Japanese.

Does the President Make his own PowerPoint Slides?

I have a challenge for you. What's wrong with this photo?



The answer.

(Thanks, Mateo. Check out his band.)

Now where will I get my carnival death metal?

My freshman year at Virginia Tech, I was confused. I had just moved in, I had already gotten in a huge fight with my roommate (a friend from high school) over a girl I liked that he had sex with, the dorm fridge I rented was broken, I had already missed a class, and this was only my first week of college.

Depressed and lonely, I was unlocking the door to my dorm room and stopped when I heard what I thought was a porn film coming from across the hall. The sound of the porn film, though, seemed to be two men, and one man saying, "Ooh, cheeks. Tight fucking cheeks." So I peeked in. That's when I met Steve (with whom I had a huge falling out later that year, again over a girl), and that's when Steve introduced me to Mr. Bungle.

The first Mr. Bungle album is brilliant, and it was very influential on my life. Had it not been for that album, I may never have come to love absurdist theatre or expressionist art or avant-garde music. Seriously, it had that much of an impact on my aesthetic.

The second album, Disco Volante, is even more brilliant-er. Each song is a completely different nightmare, contextually and audibly. I scored a really, really, really, really, really crappy movement piece I directed my senior year with selections from "The Bends," a series of musical variations on the theme of drowning.

The third album, "California," is not quite as brilliant. At first I thought it was crap, but it took two years for me to get it, and now I think it's better than average.

And now Mr. Bungle has broken up. Sure, I can fulfill my urges for sputtering mayhem with the various Mike Patton projects put out by his Ipecac label, like the always entertaining yet completely annoying Fantômas, but I hope one day, he can find the creative outlet for another obscene, breakneck-speed ska-metal masterpiece like "Squeeze Me Macaroni":

I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceeded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you Baby Ruth it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here I come
I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby

I was givin' some head to some French bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' French fries in my Fruit of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon

I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my ass
I stick my wiener in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans

Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll fuck it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop poop scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with dick cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!

Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown & runny
Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some humpin' rump roast

Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana
Fuckin' Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana

Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna

You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
"Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough...Tall man

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby

We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Patton and company. You will be missed by a great deal of dirty little boys and dirty little boys at heart.

Inherit the Wind from a Monkey's Butt

Here's the latest in the war against the vast right wing conspiracy:

The American Civil Liberties Union and Americans United for Separation of Church and State filed a lawsuit yesterday in Federal District Court in Harrisburg, Pa., against the school board of Dover, Pa., saying the board violated the religious rights of several parents and students by requiring the teaching of an alternative theory to evolution in public schools. […]

Initiatives to introduce intelligent design in curriculums are percolating nationally, and this case could test how far opponents of evolution can go in shaping the teaching of science, said advocates and critics of intelligent design. […]

Recent surveys have shown that a majority of Americans favor teaching alternatives in school, and local boards have stepped up efforts to challenge the teaching of evolution. In Cobb County, Ga., the civil liberties group has sued the school district over a disclaimer about evolution inserted into textbooks. In Kansas, conservatives who favor challenging the teaching of evolution recently won a majority on the state school board, and they are generally expected to change the state science curriculum as early as the spring.

Remember all the squawking from republicans about how "those on the far left" were intent upon making America a land of abortion-loving, bible-burning sodomites? They were trying to freak out the moderates. Meanwhile, those on the far right were preparing for their all-out assault human progress. What really puzzles me about this case, however, is why the ACLU & AUSCS are arguing that propagating lies is a violation of religious rights. Suppose a local school board decided to teach that the core of Neptune consists of a molten mixture of pine resin and circus peanuts; what then would be the argument against codifying it in textbooks? It ought not to matter why a school board wants to pour liquefied shit into the ears of our schoolchildren. I suppose it'd be too contentious to amend the constitution to include the following: "Fucktard hillbillies shall not teach". Alas, we fall back again on "religious rights".

[Thanks for the word eponymagain. Steal what works.]

Damn me deadlights and burn me fer a backstay!

More posts about modern pirates sez you? Well then, more posts about modern pirates sez I! Sa-ha!

About to ship out with a hold full of rum or sugar or microchips? Well, don't set sail without you read the IMB's weekly pirate activity report ! And if you are a pirate yourself, always remember that using a tugboat as your flagship with inspire neither terror in your victims, nor bloodthirstiness in your crew.

More Old Splatterpunk Talk

Hey, here's part two of that John Skipp interview. For more fun, stop by the man's website. Be sure not to miss the "Eats!" pictures--super-low-tech box doctoring and product sabotage. Wacky Packages for grownups, done with markers and construction paper! Its like Photoshop never happened!

Memory of a Gnat

This is just a friendly reminder that as we move forward into four more years of a George W. Bush Presidency, the Republicans have made us all aware that they regard the Global War on Terror (GWOT) to be the nation's highest priority. However, if Paula Jones happens to accuse the President of the United States, during a time of war (be it in Kosovo or Iraq), of sexual improprieties...well, it is perfectly acceptable that the President of the United States must take as much time as may be necessary to confer with lawyers and staff about such accusations, howsoever it may impose upon his time. The Supreme Court has ruled on the matter. It's a done deal. Just a friendly reminder that this is part of the public record.

A Sound Only Dogs Can Hear

A little help here? I want to watch the clip available through this link, but my computer at work doesn't have the proper Quicktime upgrades; which my corporate overlords won't install. Can someone please tell me what the heck is on the clip?

The Creative Writing of Spam

I'm not sure why, but I believe spammers often include text so that the message can circumvent filters, disguising as a legitimate email. This text must be generated randomly because prose so chaotic and beautiful as the paragraph quoted below is rarely the result of intentional creativity. This copy appeared in a piece of spam I received today advertising Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and (in case your rock-hard boner gives you a panic attack) Xanax. Add a few references to heroin and puckering anuses, and you have an unedited chapter from a lost William S. Burroughs novel:

creature proliferated, created a race of clones that lived,
after the nuptials, the Eagle said, Fly off and bring me back
A MILLER and his son were driving their Ass to a neighboring fair and hold them responsible for for all that is due to an alien presence. There
So, he continued to sweet talk her, trying to figure out why she didn't want possibility that this has occurred to them. The aliens do not see this as
friendly. Not that the industry isn't welcoming new people into these screen T.V.s wondering if the other students new little as
perfect bound book in ten minutes for a dollar are the future of The hardware dependent ebooks, the DRM use and copy restricted
wanted to watch French DVDs on his Norweigan DVD player. He and store. Prior to entering this digital store, the size of ones
the similarities of V.R. and the telephone less often than V.R. illustrations and created writing systems to communicate and
THE BIRDS waged war with the Beasts, and each were by turns the old renaissance master drawing, in which every line and every
One of my definitions of art is, art as a verb... the act replied, No, thank you. I did not ask that; it is his track
his deliverer, for seeing the Peasant sitting under a wall which information processing mechanism. With an artificial system,
better: they succeed because they're worse than the old media at designed for the metal production industry and XY plotters can be
We've got to get away from those people. I just nodded in agreement, with faggot, took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put
dawn is ridiculously near and thus that its' study is pertinent. A THIEF came in the night to break into a house. He brought with
Pope_751 and I were rather hungry at this point, and decided to get food, There are several sections to this walkthru. I have tried to arrange them in
available to anyone with a television, VCR, six pack and a couple Virtual Reality perhaps be the movie adaptation of the MediaMOO
through around the term interactive, in order to confuse people
the year I shall have money enough from my share to buy a new

Well, if nobody else is gonna do it, I sure as hell am.

This says it better than I ever could: http://www.popmatters.com/music/features/041210-dimebag-darrell-2.shtml

A moment of silence for Dimebag Darrell Abbott:





















Rock on.

Fairy Tales & Fertilizer

KELLY OF CHICAGO
REASONED THUS WITH HIMSELF
and judged it to be for the interest of the present and future
generations that they should be made acquainted
with his thoughts

There are those who have cause to declare that the 2003 sleeper hit Elf is not only the worst Christmas movie on the market, but deserving of permanent interment as one of the worst movies – of any genre or classification – ever made. However, the more important (and controversial) point is that such a declaration is not a matter of mere opinion. It can be scientifically and irrefutably verified. To be perfectly clear: subjectivity in the humanities is dead. Unfortunately, most people chose to remain blissfully ignorant of this fact. The social sciences as well have sunken into vast metaphysical quagmires; willfully surrendering the prerogatives of scientific reasoning to the psycho-babbling lunacy of the postmodernists. This pattern of abnegation extends throughout our national character and touches (rather fatally) even those on the far side of the world. To ignore the connections between the micro & macro examples of the slow death of science is to extend an open invitation to shamanism and knuckle-dragging, bones-in-the-dust relativism that can only result in the ignoble erosion of humankind's potential.

To explain what I mean, let's look to our national policy (on terrorism, domestic issues, the economy, environment, etc.). The consensus, as reflected in the November election, is that we should pursue a policy based on political idealism and grounded in a traditional understanding of spiritual ethics. The missing link? Science. A well-reasoned analysis of scientific facts is anathema to the current administration because it is anathema to our culture as a whole. We absorb the woefully myopic jingoism of television pundits, the brutally stupid aesthetic judgments of the marketplace, and the catastrophic religiosity of our politicians. Is it any wonder that we are strangling secular education? Jeopardizing our future? Believing lies?

Our national policy – whatever its manifestation – is an article of faith; not a reflection of known quantities. Just so with our judgment of artistic merit. If you can find happiness while living in darkness and feeding on excrement, I feel nothing for you but the greenest of envy. Being lost in dreams is an appealing prospect when you feel more like a mushroom than a man. As Jean Genet once wrote, however, "In order to act with grandeur, one must dream a long time. And dreaming is nursed in darkness." All that is left is to wake up.

[Related tidbits: one & two.]

AFTERTHOUGHT (Courtesy of Yglesias):

Jonathan Chait writes that the reason you find so few Republican academics isn't discrimination, it's that the GOP has become so self-consciously anti-intellectual. The argument involves making the important point that even in the hard sciences one finds few Republicans, and, in light of the present administration's endless assault on science, one hardly expects that to change in the future. The flipside is that American liberalism has increasingly ceased to be a strongly ideological movement and has instead adopted an ethic of technocratic managerialism underpinned by a vague consequentialism.

You get the burgers, I'll get the ice water and I'll SEE YOU IN HELL

You know what I like to do on a Friday? Mock Christians and Christianity! Saturdays, I make the baby Jesus cry. And Sundays, I rest.

Hail Baphomet!

Who are you going to listen to?

The Feds in Washington...

The Pentagon spokesman, Lawrence Di Rita, speaking Wednesday in Washington after the Kuwait session, said that the military was now producing 450 armored Humvees a month, compared with just 15 a month in the fall of 2003, when the threat of roadside bombs began to emerge. He also said that three out of four Humvees in the war zones were armored, and that unarmored vehicles were used in back-up operations.

...or the troops on the ground?

Specialist Thomas Wilson, a scout with a Tennessee National Guard unit set to roll into Iraq this week, was the first to step forward, saying that soldiers had had to scrounge through landfills here for pieces of rusty scrap metal and bulletproof glass - what they called "hillbilly armor" - to bolt to their trucks.

Sounds like Rummy had a bad morning. Here was his answer:

You go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

Stop. Think about that.

That's right, it would be a good argument if, say, Iraq actually attacked us.

Mayor Daley Beefs up Chicago Transit Security

Thanks to Jeff, via DJ.

UPDATE: You know, I can't help but think of Princess Leia's line when Luke Skywalker enters her cell: "Aren't you a little short to be a stormtrooper?"

UPDATE 2: Actually, the line is "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper." Thanks for the correction, Patrick.

Scupper me wi' a handspike and Damme for a Portingale pimp!

If you know me, you know that I like me some pirates--always have, since I was a little kid. And though I've come to learn that the actual facts bear very little resemblance to my beloved fiction (thank you kindly Under the Black Flag), I still think that the fictions are important to anyone with utopian ideals and a healthy disrespect for authority. Heck, a lot of the facts have those elements on view (see Peter Lamborn Wilson's Pirate Utopias--Moorish Corsairs and European Renegadoes. If you can find a copy, that is).

Be that all as it may, piracy is, of course, alive and well, in all of the old places like the Caribbean, but mostly in Southeast Asia and its environs. These new guys are a fascinating combination of old school (small boats, colorful headscarves, bad teeth) and new technology (automatic weapons, laptop computers, cel phones) and they are some SCARY ASS sons of bitches.

To illustrate--I came across these photos while searching for a nice picture of Edward Teach for my computer wallpaper. You do not want to run into these guys on your 40-foot yacht, and ye may lay to that, cully:

Wi' a curse!

The funny thing is, that despite their fierce appearance, it seems that their usual m.o. is to take your craft as a prize, take all your money, jewelry, what have you, force you to crew the boat for a while and prey on others, then set you adrift in a little boat when they've reached some sort of goal for the voyage. So you might actually escape with your life. Unless, of course, you hold out on them. One pictures the scene in The Black Pirate in which the captive swallows the diamond ring. Brutal.

"Yes, ma'am, but your fruitcake has a fuse hanging out of it."

I had heard before that fruitcake sets off sensors for explosives. I just wanted to point out something that I think is really cool in this article:

The good news is Chicago aviation officials will provide free gift-wrapping at both O'Hare and Midway airports on the days leading up to Christmas.

With all of the stepped up security, this gesture is very considerate.

Isn't it about time we reported some good news here?

(Thanks, again, to the Stig.)

Mea Culpa Monsieur Hobo

Slow blog day? Well, there's always something to say – if you put your mind to it. You know how some parents will ask their children, "What did you learn in school today?"; well, I learned something new today and I'd like to share it with you. I learned that when you're walking in the rain without an umbrella on the way to the bank to put a freeze on your debit card because you just discovered last night that three months ago someone used your debit card number to rack up over $580 at retail stores (including Wal Mart) in towns you've never set foot in and you really can't do shit about it because the stated policy of the bank dictates that all "irregularities" that show up on your bank statement must be brought to their attention within 60 days or you assume full liability for whatever losses and it's past 60 days because you don't comb through your bank statement every month like a good citizen so its really all your own fault it's really hard when some derelict steps in front of you – in such circumstances – and says, "Can you spare some change?", its hard, really hard, to not instinctively hiss through clenched teeth: "Fuck off".

New Yorkers get that much closer to two dimes to rub together

So the New York senate showed they’ve got a pair yesterday and passed a measure that’ll raise the state minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.15 an hour over two years. A step in the right direction, though it’s no Washington state, which beats ‘em by a whole penny. Whoo. Or even Oregon, at a comparatively high but still pathetic $7.05.

It’s appalling that more states aren’t following suit and upping the rate—and even more appalling is that even the highest minimum wages put a person’s annual income at or hovering just a little below the poverty line, depending on how big your family is.

The primary argument from the bastards who oppose raising the minimum is that it’ll harm the “small” businesses that will have to pay the increase.

Um, boo fucking hoo. This shouldn’t even be a question. Small business, large corporate megalith, Not a fucking issue. Pay your people a living wage. Period, End of story. If you can’t pull it off financially, don’t take it out on your employee. If you can’t pull it off emotionally, just do us all a favor and kill yourself.

Pataki whined before the NY senate (the REPUBLICANS, no less) rammed it through. “Oh, we’ll, be less competitive with New Jersey, and my ass hurts.”

Let me take a wild fucking stab in the dark here, George, but maybe that’s a problem that YOU need to fix some OTHER way than trying yet again to fuck your constituency without even the passing mention of a reacharound.

Will the local news please shut up?

I'll admit it -- when I have computer work to do at home that isn't taxing on my brain, I like to do it in front of the TV, Powerbook on my lap and mindless television playing in the background.

Right now, all I want to do is watch Letterman, which should have started over an hour ago. But instead, all four channels that I can get with my rabbit ears can't stop talking about the LaSalle Bank Building fire.

We get it. It's a fire. Shut the fuck up. Put on Letterman.

Why are you still reporting if you have nothing to say? Quit speculating about what the fire may or may not be doing, how the firefighters may or may not be fighting the fire, or whether or not sprinklers were being installed. This has been on the television for five freaking hours, and nothing new has happened in three hours.

One anchor just said, "I hope there's a news conference soon." Sure, just so she has something else to talk about for the next two hours.

Everything that needs to be said about this story could be summed up in five minutes -- 25 injuries, shitload of firefighters, phone number for family and friends of employees. Whoopdee do.

But five hours of coverage? And preempting Letterman?

What is their fucking problem?

Yeah, I should probably get some sleep.

Highway robbery

One hundred and twenty dollars for ten episodes of Hee-Haw! ? (see the link at the bottom of the home page). Appalling! Still, I do love me some Grandpa Jones. And don't even get me started on Archie Campbell...

Somebody should really make a series of cryptic Junior Samples stickers and t-shirts. Maybe with some sort of heavy-yet-nonsensical political/fetishistic content. The hipsters would snap 'em up like hotcakes.

A Brief Visit

Once again, I'm too busy to stick around and talk. Nonetheless, I thought I'd drop by and say hello. (…) No, I can't come in…seriously, I just dropped by to check in and make sure you were okay. Here, I'll leave a few things for you – take this and this. They're not much, but I thought it'd be better to leave you with something. A small gesture, I know; but a token of how much I, like, really care.

Close But No Cigar

Quote of the day:

It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully and all the rich fuckers who appreciate art say it's beautiful because that's what they want to see...the exhibition is reassuring, which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie.

Yes, that's the character of Alice, currently being photographed beautifully in Patrick Marber's biggest hit - Closer. I saw this play twice when Steppenwolf did it a couple of years ago; I even found myself inadvertently quoting from it only two weeks ago. It's got some lines that are hard to forget. It's also probably the most cynical "exploration" of relationships to come along in awhile; and that's saying something. A lot is being made of the fact that Mike Nichols, who directed the movie, also directed the most cynical relationship movie of the 1970's, Carnal Knowledge (which I saw in New York in 1990 and subsequently directed and acted in for my BFA thesis project in college). "Closer" is mostly just a vamped-up rehashing of the same chronic alienation that gave "Carnal Knowledge" its bite. An almost identical critical response is starting to trickle in; young people think it's sexy and "soooo true!", older people shrug and say "Been there. Done that." If you're feeling good about relationships and feel you need to be rattled a bit, check it out. If you're a little more mature – and demand more for your entertainment dollar – go see Sideways instead.

Reason # 786 to Secede

This is old news, but it's back in the buzz. Our government now has funding to implement mandatory mental health testing at the K-12 level. In short, this will allow (and eventually force) schools to test any student for mental illness. A school can then force parents to medicate their children—refusal to do so will result in suspension or expulsion.

From the British Medical Journal:

The president's commission found that "despite their prevalence, mental disorders often go undiagnosed" and recommended comprehensive mental health screening for "consumers of all ages," including preschool children. …The commission also recommended "Linkage [of screening] with treatment and supports" including "state-of-the-art treatments" using "specific medications for specific conditions."

So it’s genius, really. Cutting education funding and pushing unfunded educational mandates will only go so far to create working-class drones who vote against their own self-interest and are willing to fight to the death any educated fool who tries to compel them otherwise. The only real flaw with this plan was that the drug companies weren’t making any money off of it—oh, and that smart and curious kids with smart and progressive parents would still ask questions, push boundaries, and piss on the party line.

Hyper kids, smart kids, weird kids, bookish kids, antisocial kids, oversexed kids, undersexed kids, curious kids, shy kids, overbearing kids, talkative kids, creative kids, Northern kids, urban kids, Muslim kids, Jewish kids, progressive-instead-of-regressive Christian kids, any kids at all (and their teachers) who even slightly don’t fit the easy-to-contain, easy-to-manage mold that our crumbling unfunded schools will require to stamp out lookalike new brownshirts to fight on the front lines of our New World War Order.

The mandatory testing plan is based on the

Texas Medication Algorithm Project (TMAP), a 1996 project that "illustrates an evidence-based practice that results in better consumer outcomes." [emphasis on consumer mine]

FfffffFUCK, people! If it came from Texas, especially during the Bush years, it is BAD! Molly Ivins already told us about this. Look at every Texas initiative during the Bush terms. He ruined the state (ok, made it worse), and they are only now even beginning to feel and try to repair the damage.

Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) was paying attention, at least, and tried to get this line removed from the omnibus spending bill back in September, but he was overruled. I repeat: FfffffFUCK, people! If a TEXAS REPUBLICAN is saying the bill could hurt people and set a scary precedent, and he isn’t quoting scripture while he does it, you should REALLY consider listening to him.

Secession. Let ‘em have it—we’ll start over.

Frag Dolls

Stigmutha, who plays on Xbox Live under the moniker "Fock" was beaten at Halo 2 last night by one of the Frag Dolls, specifically Valkyrie. Am I a total pig, or is it okay for me to really want to work my joystick right now?

UPDATE: Screenshot of proof, courtesy of The Stig-Fock-Ster.

The only good fiction is genre fiction

I don't know about art, but I know what I like. A gorehound is me.

A couple swell interviews with a couple great writers:

John Skipp--half of the great splatterpunk writing team of Skipp and Spector. Honestly, if you like the gore and the social commentary and the monsters all mixed together with a thrash metal soundtrack, do yourself a favor and track down these guys' books:

http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=articles&id=208


James Elroy--lord god king of modern hardboiled noir writers, with a cop voice that brings a tear to my eye:

http://www.theonionavclub.com/feature/index.php?issue=4048

Fish = Terror

Here's something:

"The Bush administration Tuesday proposed large cuts [80% reduction] in federally designated areas in the Northwest and California meant to aid the recovery of threatened or endangered salmon. [...]

"Recognizing the importance of economic costs and trying to minimize the impact on industry in areas where there are low values to species and high economic costs are well in line with [National Association of Home Builders]'s policies," said Michael Mittelholzer, the association's director of environmental policy.

There you have it.

Cease and Desist

[Just in case you don't get the joke, the link below is not safe for work. Sorry to burst in like this. -Arlo]

Dear Mister Ragsdale:

I am the attorney for Mr. Kelly Cooper, who has requested that I write to you concerning your post of Thursday, December 2 for the website "like you really care". During the normal course of Mr. Cooper's activities, he was directed to a second website via a hyperlink in your aforementioned post. Aware only of your flippant caveat that this website may not be "work safe", my client was utterly unprepared for what he witnessed.

The evidence is overwhelming and incontrovertible that certain images available on the hyperlinked website (hereafter referred to as "barelyevil.com") constitute a gross infringement of my client's rights. Furthermore, we will substantiate (in court if necessary) that your willful negligence in posting such a hyperlink without a full explanation of barelyevil.com (and its gateway capacities to a myriad of like-minded websites) is tantamount to a criminal attack upon the person of my client.

The damages that were suffered by my client consist of, but are not limited to, the following:

Dizziness
Priapism
Vomiting
Incontinence of bladder and bowel
Tennis Elbow
Loss of appetite
Genital eczema
Recurrent and intermittent alcoholism

My client is in a great deal of pain. The salubrious effects of an immediate (and sizable) monetary settlement cannot be overstated. However, if you wish to contest my client's right to live a peaceful and unobtrusive life, free from the wanton attacks from soulless miscreants and their lascivious and self-abasing ilk, we will petition to the court for redress.

Yours truly,
Paco Hernandez Wong, Esq.
Paco & Schmaltz, LLP

My mother thought that one became pregnant by holding hands.

Now that the War on Drugs in our schools that was fought in the 1980s is all but lost, it's time for the War on Sex.

• A 43-day-old fetus is a "thinking person."
• HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, can be spread via sweat and tears.
• Condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse.."

These are just some of the turds today's children are being forced to eat. (In fetish terms, kids, that's called "scat." It will be on the quiz.)

There's no better way, I feel, to raise a child to be a liberal than to use lies and fear to control behavior. I grew up being told all sorts of lies: All drugs are evil and will lead to a life on the streets. The poor and disenfranchised choose to be poor and disenfranchised so they can take advantage of the welfare system. Jesus, an attractive, long-haired white man from the Middle East, died for my sins. As I started to learn that this was all bullshit (respectively: everything in moderation, opportunity is not distributed fairly, Jesus had curly hair and an olive complexion), I started to believe that everything was bullshit. Those were the dark times that I still feel like I'm emerging from. However, at least it made me a proud liberal.

So now, children are being taught horrible, horrible lies about sex systematically, when the place for such lies is in the home. The title of this post is the truth, though I don't believe my mother's father, an ordained Southern Baptist minister, actually told her that; they just didn't discuss it, and my mother had to make her own decisions. Silence is just as dangerous as lying.

What is so wrong about telling kids the truth? The truth is pretty scary, too. Talk about what will happen to your life if you get pregnant at the age of 14. Talk about what happens when you get AIDS or herpes. Talk about how the only way to prevent this stuff is not to have sex. I'm fine with all of that. Just don't lie. When kids find out they've been lied to, that's when they rebel. And that's when they run out and smoke up a bunch of drugs and have a bunch of sex. Kids must have the tools to be responsible, and those tools do not include false information that can be proven false by spending 10 minutes in the school library.

Also from the article:

Some course materials cited in Waxman's report present as scientific fact notions about a man's need for "admiration" and "sexual fulfillment" compared with a woman's need for "financial support." One book in the "Choosing Best" series tells the story of a knight who married a village maiden instead of the princess because the princess offered so many tips on slaying the local dragon. "Moral of the story," notes the popular text: "Occasional suggestions and assistance may be alright, but too much of it will lessen a man's confidence or even turn him away from his princess."

That's right women. No sex until marriage, and when you do get married, shut up. It must be true; it's what you were taught in school.

Maybe there is something to be said for school vouchers. When I have kids, I can send them to a school that doesn't forcefeed garbage, if such a school would even exist.

(Thanks for the link, Stiggy.)

Undead from Hollywood

I would like to thank Arlo for the kind introduction, and for the opportunity to write for Like You Really Care.

Of course, being the eternal pessimist that I am, with this opportunity comes a question; what do I have to offer? There are some mighty heavy hitters here at the ol' blog. I'm certainly not as funny or as hip or as tech savvy as Arlo (indeed, I am composing this on a PC. From Dell. I KNOW!) I aspire to one day approach Kelly's level of disgust. Don't even get me started on his vocabulary, and capacities for both critical and abstract thought--after all, envy is a sin, and I don't want go sinning on my very first post. And I stand in awe of Temples bohemian elan and effortless grace and charm.

So what do I have? My knowledge of the nuts-and-bolts details of necrophelia, yakuza initiation practices, and the history of piracy can certainly carry me for a post or two. And I can always write an appreciation of one of my beloved bastard art (HA!) forms (GWAR, Destroyer novels, KiSS dolls, Goth porn. That last one is not work safe, just by the way) After that, what? H.P. Lovecraft? The Church of the SubGenius? Balloon fetishists? ho-HUM!

Then, it struck me; I'm about to move to LA. I'm moving for two primary reasons: weather and money. I am about to migrate to the most shallow, appearance-obsessed, anti-intellectual spot on the face of the earth so I won't have to deal with snow anymore, and, hopefully, so I can be paid to be an actor. I am swapping my service to Bacchus for indentured servitude to Apollo in a large way. Fed up with art, I am out for the paycheck; bigger is better and biggest is best. I am an actor with neither shame nor pride. Need a poor schlub for a viagra commercial? I'm your man. Funny sidekick in a sub-Bruckheimer c-list action movie? Me, me, me! Host of a Fox network reality show? Over here!

What do you suppose is going to happen? Will I become a Raymond Chandleresque white knight, strolling untouched through the neon and palm trees, becoming harder but not meaner, eventually rediscovering art, leaving something lasting a good behind? Or, will I become a Dorian Gray, a Peer Gynt, my soul shriveled to the size of a button, a mercenary glint in my eye, my head filled with plastic surgery, jet-trash arm candy by my side, nose full of white powder? Or maybe I'll just become a bitter, crazy old man--although, I guess, that last one could happen anywhere. Anyway, I'm interested to see how it all comes out. Hopefully, you will be, too.

Of course, having the high-minded saga laid out for me frees me up to write about trivialities and crap pop culture, which are, to be quite honest, the things I really live for.

So! Who's playing Sid Meier's Pirates! ?

Like You Really Care is Sorry

Thanks to those who appear here for braving the cold.