Pitchfork Media is my favorite website for learning about new albums that end up blowing me away, for reading self-serving, pretentious screeds on vastly underrated albums, and for confirming that which everyone else should already know. (Actually, it's my second favorite after Frank's site, but I'm biased.)

Pitchfork has done something very interesting -- after letting the 90s settle into its place as a time of wild artistic growth, rampant economic growth, and devolving political discourse, they've gone back and revised their list of the top 100 albums of the 90s. As much as I (we) always argue with such lists (VH1 always screws up such things, like this horrible one where Ratt is ranked a better band than The Pixies and Fugazi), Pitchfork make a very titillating point:

So, over the past few months, the current Pitchfork staff convened to tabulate their revised individual lists, with the ultimate goal of presenting an updated list of 1990s records that have remained essential into the first part of the new decade. [Emphasis added.]

With that statement, I started to think about how malleable history is. After four years, now that the 90s are totally in the past, it's perhaps easier to see cause and effect, to see what had the most lasting impression.

Or is it? I thought about our current political discourse with respect to memories of the 90s. What political impression will we all have of the 90s? Will it be the economic prosperity brought on by the new technology marketplace? Will it be the introduction of terrorism to our shores and the effective plan to quell it that was ignored by our current administration? Will it be the rise of free trade, which is a good idea given the transition of the US to a service economy but was embraced to quickly and to tightly and cost the US countless jobs?

No. Our memory will be a blowjob.

See, when you compare the Pitchfork list from 1999 to today's, the newest list skews heavily in favor of more major labels and more popular releases. Granted, the new list features more "Who the hell is that?" albums than any VH1 list would feature, but what stands the test of time more than what has been drilled into us by mass media?

For example, the top two albums are transposed. Previously, Pitchfork favored My Bloody Valentine's "Loveless" over Radiohead's "OK Computer." On the new list, Pitchfork writes about OK Computer's new #1 placement:

OK Computer simply is the anxious, self-important, uncertain, technologically overwhelmed 1990s.

Agreed. And I, too, agree that "OK Computer" is the most important musical achievement of the 90s, capturing the decade's essence and full-on grabbing the bar set by "Revolver" and "Pet Sounds." (Plus, I just love Radiohead -- read my review of "Hail to the Thief".)

But whether or not I agree with the placement is besides the point. Pitchfork is saying that, though My Bloody Valentine's album is a more consistent, more satisfying musical achievement, Radiohead defined the decade. So sayeth the media and popular opinion.

So it is with politics. With everything that was accomplished in the 90s, we'll remember the blowjob. And while the Bush administration continues to fail, our criticisms will always be obfuscated by a cloud of distrust, and the fog machine is plugged into the media.

It may take until 2008, but I hope that by then the Democrats will learn that we can take the high road and overcome the attacks by the right wing if we work together and rally. Even if you don't like Howard Dean (and I'm not trying to turn this blog entry into a Howard Dean ad, I swear), what he's doing by uniting people to his cause in unprecedented ways needs to be done by the Democrats as a whole. The grassroots can define the political discourse of society as was proved in the late 60s, and the late 60s would have achieved so much more than it did had everyone not been so high all the time. We can, as a whole, bring the economic fringes of society in, nurture every person in this country, and further what the Clinton administration's legacy should be -- that fostering a society where everyone has equal opportunity to excel can grow the economy better than Right Wing oligarchy and meritocracy.

I don't hate America, Ann Coulter. I believe in America's potential.

There. That should make up for small blog entries from the past few days and the nothing you'll get from me this weekend. Have a happy "Let's put a positive spin on the genocide of Native Americans" day tomorrow.

Mr. Elder is Larry Elder, one of the whitest black men in America.

Thank God for Atrios. He reads Ann Coulter so you don't have to. He points out that in a recent column, Ann the Man makes some rather anti-semetic comments:

In addition to having a number of family deaths among them, the Democrats' other big idea – too nuanced for a bumper sticker – is that many of them have Jewish ancestry. There's Joe Lieberman: Always Jewish. Wesley Clark: Found Out His Father Was Jewish in College. John Kerry: Jewish Since He Began Presidential Fund-Raising. Howard Dean: Married to a Jew. Al Sharpton: Circumcised. Even Hillary Clinton claimed to have unearthed some evidence that she was a Jew – along with the long lost evidence that she was a Yankees fan. And that, boys and girls, is how the Jews survived thousands of years of persecution: by being susceptible to pandering.

I'm circumcised. Does that mean I'm Jewish? But seriously, folks...

I took a gander at the Ann Coulter article, as well. She also makes an interesting statement about Gephardt:

Dick Gephardt's campaign platform is that his father was a milkman, his son almost died and his daughter is a lesbian. Vote for me!

I guess her point is that all of the candidates are attempting to demonstrate sympathy with disenfrancised classes. And she's right. Damn you Democrats for CARING!

Interesting how Ann didn't point out Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter.

I'm a Total Geek. How about you?

Now I know why my girlfriend doesn't support Howard Dean like I do.

Via Atrios, of course: The US government spends more on health care per capita than Sweden, and Sweden has Universal Health Care. So much for tax-and-spend liberal, eh?

A Like You Really Care public service announcement:

Right now, somewhere in the 518 area code in New York, there's a very cute, waifish 18-year-old girl who wants you no matter who you are:

I've always liked shy, possibly dorky boys, but ever since I was about thirteen I've been just twitterpated with cynical, sometimes married older men. Total strangers in almost-public places are unspeakably sexy to me. Maybe I'm sexually compulsive or something, but late-night impromptu phone booth shaggings just *happen* to me...

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a reader in New York to stop studying his Monster Manual and compiling the latest Linux kernal, head to a phone booth, and get a hot piece of ass. C'mon, guys, grab it before she gets syphilis.

Charlie Dean likely found. I can't see how this was done on purpose. If it was done on purpose, the timing would have been chosen more appropriately. This seems random.

Dean will use this politically -- he's used the memory of his brother to argue against the Iraq war before. Hopefully he'll exercise a little caution and restraint when using it, though. I'm getting sick of hearing about John Edward's daddy; I'd hate to get sick of hearing about Howard Dean's dead brother.

Here it is, ladies and gentleman: the Governator's plan to save California:

1. Start with a $13.5 billion deficit.

2. Cut an unpopular car tax, adding $4.3 billion to the deficit.

$13,500,000,000 + $4,300,000,000 = $17,800,000.000

3. Ask for a $15 billion bond to pay of the deficit.

$17,800,000.000 - $15,000,000,000 = $2,800,000,000

4. Cut $2 billion dollars from the budget by cutting hiring (no new state jobs) and travel (no trips out of Sacramento to see the rest of the state).

$2,800,000,000 - $2,000,000,000 = $800,000,000

5. Refuse a salary. The governor's salary is a whopping $175,000. (Arnold made $30 million for making Terminator 3.)

$800,000,000 - $175,000 = $799,825,000

6. ????

7. PROFIT!

Meanwhile, the bond matures, and the next generation of Californians are stuck with a $20 billion debt to pay off.

Schwarzenegger is asking the people of California to pay off one credit card with another credit card. And that's irresponsible unless you also have a plan to pay the bond off without passing that debt on to a future generation.

However, I appreciate what Schwarzenegger's trying to do. He doesn't want to cut school funding or hurt social programs. Cutting taxes, on the other hand, isn't going to help.

Since most of my classmates at school are not old enough to drink, their fascination with the unshaven guy pushing 30 (that's me) is a little off-putting. I do get one question from these young upstarts a lot when I'm engaged in conversation: "What kind of music do you like?" There's often an emphasis on the word "you," as if I'm being asked, "When you were growing up, had primitive man yet started generating rhythms by beating the bones of recent prey against the still-cooling igneous rocks remaining from the genesis of our planet?"

What about that question? "What kind of music do you like?" There's a lot to it.

Hip-hop brings to mind a certain persona, as does punk, house, and Celine Dion. And to a certain degree, this is true. Certain markets are sold certain styles of dress, certain entertainment activities. Asking "What kind of music do you like?" is asking what target market you belong to.

It's also a question we can't entirely quantify. We enjoy music from all genres. Many of us will have Willie Nelson, Outkast, Dead Kennedys, and Miles Davis on the same hard drive.

Furthermore, fairly universally, we respect people with wide ranging tastes in music, people who have a CD shelf full of names we've never heard of. How does the music enthusiast answer this question?

The question is a shortcut to see if you'll fit a particular clique. Yet, it's impossible to truly address the wide-ranging genres of music we all enjoy. Plus, the question reaffirms the corporate forcefeeding of social behavior and interaction used to sell sub-par records.

Bear this in mind. The next time you ask, "What kind of music do you like?" what you're really asking is, "What genre of insipid pop music do you most tolerate?" And when asked, answer accordingly.

Another e-mail!!!

Arlo:

Man, you're nuts. I just spent a good chunk of my day sifting through your blog and Jesus McChrist if you ain't the oddest sack of batshit East of the Pesos. Hey, I appreciate a good political 'round-up' as much as the next fella (maybe more)...but you've got me plum plumaged! Kucinich? Moseley-Braun!? Dude. See this? This is blood trickling from the corners of mouth. Acerbic and self-righteous blowhards like myself have to bite our tongues pretty hard sometimes just for the sake of friendly relations. But don't worry, (oops, just dab it with cold water) I won't subject you to a long-winded exegeses of my views; I fulfill my odd itch to pontificate about politics by staying up all night, every night, writing all my lofty thoughts in a tortured calligraphic longhand on rice-paper parchment. I've been using the fruits of this exercise to construct a life-sized papier-mâché sculpture of Nipsey Russell in my bathroom. Maybe one day you'll come over for a bowl of chili and you can enjoy Nipsey while you blow some mud. In the meantime, however, I will offer one small bit of advice on how to achieve a slightly more enlightened perspective on national politics: unplug your television.

Happy Veteran's Day.
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/

Yours,
K----- "Gutfuck" C-----
Pfc. Intellectual Elite, Div. 2

[Name withheld because I didn't ask permission before posting this e-mail. Not that I ever ask, but still... -Arlo]

Thank you for entertaining me with your Joyce-on-crack stream of consciousness.

I would like to respond to that last little bit. I subscribe to The Nation, and my newsreader software at work is overflowing with RSS feeds. My only real television news viewing other than flipping through is Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" on MSNBC; granted, it's headlines presented in bite-size, processed covered in tangy barbecue sauce -- i.e., it's devoid of any real nutrition -- but its still the best news show you're not watching. I also endure the occasional Bill O'Reilly*, Sean Hannity, or Joe Scarborough so I can keep my enemies closer, as the adage goes.

So, gutfuck, you can take that Nipsey Russel sculpture and flummox your plum!

Eric Alterman on the differences between those who have been hatin' on Bush and those that were hatin' on Clinton. "Bush 'haters' talk about policy not personality."

The DAMN YOU NEAL POLLACK!! I guess we all get burned out sometimes.

Follow-up to the below exchange from Hardball: The third voice is David Corn, and here's his take on the argument over Patton.

The Democratic Party: We have better uptime than the Republicans.

A letter to Eric Alterman pointed this out first. Here's Chris Matthews and Ann Coulter talking about political movies. I boldfaced the juicy part, but the whole thing is worth a read.

MATTHEWS: Why is it always anti-right? I mean, I’ve been waiting for 50 or 70 years for an anticommunist movie to come out of Hollywood. There’s a zillion anti-Nazi movies. How about one or two anticommunist movies?
Let me ask you, Ann Coulter. Do you think the Clintons would make a good-what do you call it-a good property for a mini-series? And could it be done fairly?
COULTER: It would have been done, if it had been done honestly, I think extremely well. And I agree with you that they’re capable of doing an honest movie that extrapolates slightly but basically gets the characters right.
And I’ll give you an example of one where they did it with hatred in their hearts, but unfortunately, they did it accurate to history, and that was “Patton.” That was intended to make Patton look terrible, but it was accurate to history and it made Patton look great and people loved him. And that’s why they don’t do it accurately any more.
MATTHEWS: You are dead wrong. Everybody loved “Patton” from the first day it came out.
COULTER: But that isn’t the way it was intended.
MATTHEWS: I was in the Peace Corps in Africa and everybody over there loved it when we got to see it. From the first day we loved it.
CORN: How could you not love that movie from the opening scene?
MATTHEWS: He’s God-like. Ann, where do you get this malarkey from?
Everybody loved “Patton.” How old were you, when “Patton” came out. How old were you, two?
COULTER: I think you’re misunderstanding.
MATTHEWS: No, I think you’re wrong, Ann. I think everybody loved “Patton.”
COULTER: Can I respond?
MATTHEWS: Who didn’t like it?
COULTER: That is precisely my point, because it was made accurately.
But it was made, the people making it were intending to make Patton look bad.
MATTHEWS: Who did that?
COULTER: That is why George C. Scott turned down his Academy Award for playing Patton.
MATTHEWS: Who told you that? Who told you that?
COULTER: It’s well known.
MATTHEWS: It’s well known?
COULTER: Why do you think he didn’t accept the award?
CORN: Why did he take the role? Why did he take the role, Ann, if he didn’t want to do it?
COULTER: Why do you think he turned down the award, Chris? You never looked that up? It never occurred to you? “I wonder why George C. Scott didn’t accept his award.”
MATTHEWS: Because he said he wasn’t going to a meat parade, because he didn’t believe in award ceremonies because they’re all about women wearing no clothes and showing off their bodies...
COULTER: By portraying Patton as negatively as possible, but by doing it accurately the American people loved it.
MATTHEWS: Facts mean nothing to you, Ann.
CORN: In this movie he shoots down an airplane with a gun.
MATTHEWS: I’m glad you are not making movies, Ann Coulter. Thank you, David Corn, Andrew Grossman.
Jesus.

Poor Chris Matthews probably has very little say in what guests are booked on his show. Oh, by they, Chris, there are plenty of anti-communist movies -- maybe you missed the entire James Bond series?

I voted to decline the matching funds.

I never made it the Dean Meetup last night. I feel bad about it, but I had some personal stuff to attend to. I'll make it next month, I swear.

At the very end of the transcript, there's a very funny typo, and though "V" is next to "B" on the keyboard, I can't help but think it's somewhat Freudian:

I'm Anderson Cooper for CNN and "America Rocks The Boat."

But did the debate "rock the boat"? Not really. Like the other debates, still few chances for Wesley Clark to speak, still Liberman's struggle to remain relevant, still Carol talking a lot and not answering a single question, still Sharpton having the best lines (though more policy for him this time around), still the others boring us to tears. Whoop dee doo. Gephardt's absence didn't seem to make a difference, even.

And yet again, the most drama coming from a gang-up on Dean. As I said earlier today, Dean's handling his misstep well, but it was the biggest misstep he's made in this campaign so far. On the other hand, sorry to steal some doublespeak from our president, the bad news may actually be good news. Dean's own words from last night:

I told a group of press people in Iowa that the reason I knew I was the frontrunner is because I keep picking buck shot out of my rear end all the time.

True dat.

If you're just joining me, I'm quoting some moments from last night's debate as I read through the transcript (I didn't see it -- I was in class... and then I watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy).

You knew I was going to quote this:

COOPER: All right, we are getting a lot of e-mail pouring in. Probably a predictable question just got asked. It is an e-mail from a viewer: "Which of you are ready to admit to having used marijuana in the past?"

And they want us to go around and ask each of you.

Governor Dean?

DEAN: We'll all keep our hands down on this one.

(LAUGHTER)

COOPER: John--Senator Kerry? Yes or no?

KERRY: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COOPER: Congressman Kucinich, yes or no?

(APPLAUSE)

KUCINICH: No, but I think it ought to be decriminalized.

(APPLAUSE)

COOPER: Reverend Sharpton?

SHARPTON: I grew up in the church. We didn't believe in that.

COOPER: OK. Senator Edwards?

EDWARDS: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COOPER: Senator Lieberman?

(APPLAUSE)

LIEBERMAN: Well, you know, I have a reputation for giving unpopular answers in Democratic debates. I never used marijuana, sorry.

COOPER: General Clark?

CLARK: Never used it.

COOPER: Ambassador Braun?

MOSELEY BRAUN: I'm not going to answer.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

COOPER: And Governor Dean?

DEAN: Yes.

COOPER: Yes, all right.

(APPLAUSE)

What are you hiding, Carol? Are you paranoid?

Seriously, everyone except for Carol handled this properly in Arlo's America. Ever since "I didn't inhale," every presidential election is going to have the drug question. I, for one, think it's a relevant one. George Bush had well publicized alcohol and cocaine problems. I'm glad that the President is over his cocaine problems, as he should be. However, he won't discuss it. The air of secrecy raises suspicion.

In everyone else's America, how do you answer this question? Will everyone who said yes now be attacked by the neopures* of the nation? I think everyone who said yes is going to be attacked by the neopures anyway, so you might as well be honest.

Oh, and I bet Sharpton is lying.

*Like my new word? "Neocon", for neo-conservative, has been bandied about -- ahem -- liberally (wink). And Atrios is fond of "conservatarian," the ultra-conservative, borderline libertarian. So if you like this blog, start dropping "neopure" in your political debates. As you figured, it's short for "neo-puritans," like the Christian Right or the 700 Club, who think gays are going to hell and yet skipped over that whole "rich man passing through the eye of a needle" thing.

Kucinich on job creation:

Imagine what it's like for young people who are working very hard to complete a college education and then find out--you get the diploma, there's no jobs. Under my administration, I intend to take the following steps to get this American economy moving.

Number one, cancel the Bush tax cuts that went to the people in the top brackets.

Okay....

Number two, get the United States out of Iraq. We have to stop these misadventures around the world. We have to work with the world community. And that will save us hundreds of billions of dollars.

Nice....

Number three, cut the Pentagon budget by 15 percent and put that money into universal pre-kindergarten.

Say what? This is exactly the sort of thing that is killing Kucinich. Yes, day care is incredibly important, and I theoretically agree with him, as I theoretically agree with everything Kucinich says. But to say that we're going to cut the Defense Department's budget at a time when national security is at its highest and put it in "universal pre-kindergarten" is political suicide. God, I admire Dennis Kucinich, but at the end of the day, I need someone who is running for President.

Number four, take the money from the Bush tax cuts that went to the top bracket and put it into a fund to create universal college education, tuition free, for all those young people who go to public colleges and universities all across this country. We can afford it. What's our priority?

First of all, if a plan like this is to be enacted, it can't focus entirely on college. Not everybody is going to go to college, nor should they. That's the sort of liberal idealism that conservatives trounce on. For a plan like this (which is almost plausible) to be fair, it should be extended to trade school education and include increased high-school vocational counseling.

However, there was a great article in the last issue of The Nation talking about how most of the money states devote to grants and scholarships to state schools are going to wealthy families who could afford to send their children to school anyway; the argument is that it keeps the students in-state. The action is still wrong. Let's return the state university system to the people who deserve it and stop spending state money on multi-million dollar student unions with bowling alleys and video arcades. Then we won't even need most of Dennis Kucinich's plan.

Number five, get the National Aeronautics and Space Administration involved in developing new energy technologies, new environmental technologies.

As far as I know, NASA already does that, but Kucinich makes a great point. We have in place a government organization with the resources and tools to take on such a task, so let's focus them to do it.

Howard Dean on gun control from last night:

Here's my position on guns. I support the assault weapons ban. And I fought the renewal of the assault weapons ban. I do not support the elimination of liability for gun owners. I support background checks. And I support background checks for people who buy guns at gun shows.

However, I come from a rural state where people hunt. We have the lowest homicide rate in America. So my attitude is, let's have those federal laws. Let's enforce every single one of them. And then let's every state make additional gun control, as they see fit.

New Jersey and California are going to want a lot more gun control. Let them have it. We need a base of federal laws that make sense. And then we need to make additional laws, as states think they need it. And I think that makes a lot of sense for every state in the country.

What he says here is exactly why the founding fathers gave so much control to the states -- every community is different and has different requirements. Republicans make a lot of claims about state control and criticize Democrats for wanting to enlarge the federal government. Dean's statement here is not only about gun control (and I agree with his assessment) but about the structure of our nation and how it should be operated. Everyone deserves a fair shake, but that shake doesn't take the exact same form for every community.

Quote from Carol Mosely Braun:

We don't need to give [Iraq] a new phone system when we hardly have our phones working here at home.

Hey Carol? Can you hear me now? Carol? I said can you hear me now? WTF?

By the way, if you'd like to follow along with me today, here's the transcript.

I didn't get to watch the debate last night, but I'm reading the transcript right now amongst the piles of work I have at my job. Every time something piques my interest, I'll post here. It may take me all day.

I thought Dean handled the Confederate flag issue quite well:

DEAN: No, I wasn't John Edwards because people who vote who fly the Confederate flag, I think they are wrong because I think the Confederate flag is a racist symbol. But I think there are lot of poor people who fly that flag because the Republicans have been dividing us by race since 1968 with their southern race strategy.

I am tired of being divided by race in this country. I am tired of being divided by abortion, by gay rights.

I want to go down to the South and talk to people who don't make any more than anybody else up north but keep voting Republican against their own economic interests and that's what I am saying.

But Edwards' follow-up.... Well, it kicked Dean's ass.

EDWARDS: Because let me tell you the last thing we need in the South is somebody like you coming down and telling us what we need to do.

(APPLAUSE)

That's the last thing in the world we need in the South.

I grew up in the South. I grew up with the very people that you're talking about. And what Al Sharpton just said is exactly right. The people that I grew up with, the vast majority of them, they don't drive around with Confederate flags on pickup trucks.

One of the problems that we have with young people today is people talk down to you. You know, you get all pigeon-holed. They've stereotype you.

Exactly the same thing happens with people from the South. I have seen it. I have grown up with it. I'm here to tell you it is wrong. It is condescending. And the only way that we as a party are going to win the White House back is to reach out to everybody and treat them with the dignity and respect that they're entitled to.

That's what we ought to be doing.

And Edwards hit the nail on the head. Dean's statement didn't do nearly as much damage to African Americans as it did to Southern whites. That's where Dean made his mistake. Dean is doing a great job of responding to the criticisms -- which are mainly coming from other Democrats, not the neocon media -- and I think this will blow over, but Dean has certainly learned a valuable lesson. I still think he's the right man for the job.

Also of note: Al Sharpton is the only candidate up there who uses a Mac. I like Al more and more, though he'd make a terrible president.

More to come.

New additions to Bored?:

Eric Alterman: Altercation. The author of the brilliant What Liberal Media? keeps tabs on when the media lies to favor the Right. They do it all time, or haven't you been paying attention?

Neal Pollack. The man who once publically proclaimed that George Bush fucks babies in the ass. He said it in Austin, TX. Ballsy and always entertaining.

Fascinating follow-up to the Reagan miniseries bullshit. Please read this letter from U.S. Representative John Dingell of Michigan to CBS President Les Mooves. Brilliant.

Two things are pressing on my mind politically.

Not one argument I've heard from the neocons about the Reagan miniseries makes any sense. One argument is that he's an old man with Alzheimer's who can't defend himself. God forbid something bad be said about a homophobic codger whose economic policy widened the chasm between rich and poor more than any other president in history. When Oliver Stone made Nixon, was Richard Nixon alive to defend himself?

Another argument is that is isn't historically accurate. Did Nancy slap Patty? Nancy would deny it if she did. Did Reagan think AIDS was a Biblical Plague? Probably (even Dick Morris said so), but it our word against Bill O'Reilly's. So whether or not the film is accurate, what we have to realize is that it is plausible. After all, Ron Jeremy's screen adaptation of The Starr Report wasn't accurate, but it could have happened that way. And you didn't hear any conservatives complaining about Primary Colors, did you?

Here's where I'm super pissed. This entire furor was sparked by a report from Matt Drudge, the right-wing's tabloid journalist. I'm disheartened that the conservatives were able to rally their wagons and have the plug pulled on a television show because of a report by a professional muckraker and miserable web designer Drudge. Liberal media, my ass.

The other thing I have to talk about is Howard Dean’s Confederate Flag comment. I'm as much of a fan of the Dukes of Hazzard as anybody, but even I, a staunch Dean supporter, think this was just about the stupidest thing Dean has done this campaign. Don't get me wrong -- I know what he meant to say. However, it was not only insensitive to blacks who have fought to have it removed from state buildings but it was also insensitive to Southerners, saying in effect that all Southerners are good ol’ boys with pickup trucks. I have a feeling that this will blow over, but Dean has hopefully learned a valuable lesson.

So to Howard Dean: I still support you, but please, don't do that again.

A very good point: "It doesn't make a bit of difference what WE think is going on in Iraq, or how WE think it is going. All that matters is how and what the Iraqis think. And they think we suck."

Purely out of curiosity today, I decided to do that candidate selector thing that I did a while back. After all, since I last did it, Bob Graham dropped out of the race, Wes Clark entered the race, I've learned more about certain issues, many candidates have refined their platforms, etc. In other words, time passed.

Below are my results, in order. The percentage is how closely the candidate matched my stance on issues:

1. Kucinich, Cong. Dennis, OH - Democrat (93%)
2. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (92%)
3. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (87%)
4. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol IL - Democrat (80%)
5. Lieberman Senator Joe CT - Democrat (76%)
6. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (75%)
7. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (73%)
8. Gephardt, Cong. Dick, MO - Democrat (71%)
9. LaRouche, Lyndon H. Jr. - Democrat (69%)
10. Clark, Retired Army General Wesley K 'Wes' Arkansas - Democrat (62%)
11. Libertarian Candidate (50%)
12. Bush, George W. - US President (21%)
13. Phillips, Howard - Constitution (8%)

Of course this isn't a scientific analysis, nor does it take into account important factors such as experience.

The top three are as I expected. I'd be all about Kucinich if he hadn't once bankrupted a city and had plans to actually pay for all of the social programs he wants to enact. And his proposed Department of Peace? Theoretically, brilliant; practically, ridiculous; in general, quaint. I admire Kucinich's dedication to the issues he presents, but he would better serve this country as a Representative or a Senator.

Dean. I'm going to my first Dean Meetup on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Kerry. I'd happily vote for Kerry, as I've said before.

I'm not surprised that Carol Moseley-Braun ranked as high as she did, though I expected Al Sharpton to rank a little higher. I admire the both of them, and I look forward to the day we have a black and/or female president. Neither of these people are it, however. (Jesse Jackson, Jr. should run one day -- he probably will.)

The biggest surprise is how low Wes Clark ranked, even below Lyndon LaRouche. However, I think that is only due to how new he is in the race. When (or more aptly, if) he formulates more opinions on domestic issues, he will probably rank higher.

After reading my results (or yours), you may have had the same question I did: What the hell is the Constitution Party? A sample quote from their official platform, which I only provide here for a good laugh:

Education

All teaching is related to basic assumptions about God and man. Education as a whole, therefore, cannot be separated from religious faith. The law of our Creator assigns the authority and responsibility of educating children to their parents. Education should be free from all federal government subsidies, including vouchers, tax incentives, and loans, except with respect to veterans.

Because the federal government has absolutely no jurisdiction concerning the education of our children, the United States Department of Education should be abolished. [snip] No federal laws subsidizing or regulating the education of children should be enacted. Under no circumstances should the federal government be involved in national teacher certification, educational curricula, textbook selection, learning standards, comprehensive sex education, psychological and psychiatric research testing programs, and personnel.

Thought you'd get a kick out of that.