Hey, Republicans, two can play at this game.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's gang-bang. It was even with a "black girl."

Want to make a piece out of that, Fox News?

Howard Dean is kicking John Kerry's ass.

I'm a few days late passing along this news, but a moment of silence for Wesley Willis.

From reading about his military experience and his stance on issues, it sounds like Wesley Clark would make an excellent president. I'd listen to what he has to say, maybe even work on his campaign if I like his message...

...except that he's not campaigning. It seems that four dorks and a chic who needs new headshots are expending a lot of energy and time to convince a hard working general now in the private sector to run for president.

But Howard Fineman says "Wes Clark is in." I'm not sure if he means that he's in the race or he's "in" like fake vintage T-shirts. A search of Google News only turned up one article definitively stating that he's running, but that article is actually a press release from another Clark-pimping website.

From everything I've Googled after a friend pointed me in the direction of Wesley Clark, if Clark runs and gets the nomination, he could seriously beat the pants off of Bush. With his military experience, the precient statments he made about Iraq, and his economic fortitude, Clark makes Bush look like the puppet he his and could break the wartime-incumbency that has spoiled other elections, such as Nixon/McGovern in 1972 (McGovern lost 49 states).

However, the Democratic campaigns are well underway. If he hasn't entered the race yet, Wesley Clark has a lot of catching up to do.

Here's an idea, though: Wesley Clark as Howard Dean's running mate. Hmmmm?

Today's Cruel Site of the Day features a guy comparing his sexiness to that of Hitler's. To make the competition more fair (or as an excuse to put that pirated copy of Photoshop to good use), he colorizes a photo of Hitler and clones out his mustache. Thus:



I think he looks a little like Tom Ridge, but his face is too long.



Can you think of one better? If you find a photo of a famous person (political or otherwise) that resembes this photo, send it my way and I'll post it here. The Google Image Search is a good place to start.

The president blames an old electrical system. However, Hillary blames Bush, while former Energy Secretary Bill Richardson blames Bill. (warning: NewsMax link -- they're evil).

Meanwhile, Pataki blames Canada (yes, the South Park song is stuck in my head, too) while Chretien blames the US.

My girlfriend, who worked in regional government for the first decade of her adult life, said that government is like sausage -- as good as it may be most of the time, you don't want to know how its made.

UPDATE: That's what I get for reading NewsMax. They took Bill Richardson's statement horribly out of context. If you read the transcript, you'll see that Governor Richardson clearly didn't mean that the Clinton administration ignored improvements to the electrical grid but that congress did.

Republicans are going to love this. According to a recent study (I love stories that start like that), when the Arctic ice cap le melts in 100 years, it'll be a good thing.

No mention about whether or not humans will be able to bear the heat or not beat the bejesus out of each other for constantly saying, "Hot enough for ya?"

I have this joke I tell my conservative friends. The last time a Democrat took the Oval Office, an obscure, well-spoken governor beat a Bush. So Howard Dean can win if he fucks Gennifer Flowers and Perot runs as an independent.

Ha, ha, ha, right? According to this Salon article (day-pass required), half of that joke might actually come true. Perot hates the Republicans, we know that, but his big-business acumen doesn't appeal to Democrats. I doubt Perot will be as big of a factor in 2004 as he was in 1992, but he can't make things any worse for those of us ready for our own regime change.

From Al Gore's speech to MoveOn.org at NYU:

If the 21st century is to be well started, we need a national agenda that is worked out in concert with the people, a healing agenda that is built on a true national consensus. Millions of Americans got the impression that George W. Bush wanted to be a "healer, not a divider", a president devoted first and foremost to "honor and integrity." Yet far from uniting the people, the president's ideologically narrow agenda has seriously divided America. His most partisan supporters have launched a kind of 'civil cold war' against those with whom they disagree.

And as for honor and integrity, let me say this: we know what that was all about, but hear me well, not as a candidate for any office, but as an American citizen who loves my country:

For eight years, the Clinton-Gore Administration gave this nation honest budget numbers; an economic plan with integrity that rescued the nation from debt and stagnation; honest advocacy for the environment; real compassion for the poor; a strengthening of our military -- as recently proven -- and a foreign policy whose purposes were elevated, candidly presented and courageously pursued, in the face of scorched-earth tactics by the opposition. That is also a form of honor and integrity, and not every administration in recent memory has displayed it.

So I would say to those who have found the issue of honor and integrity so useful as a political tool, that the people are also looking for these virtues in the execution of public policy on their behalf, and will judge whether they are present or absent.

Ballsy. And if Al Gore had had the balls to say this when he was actually running for president, maybe the vote wouldn't have been so close, giving the Republicans the opportunity to rig it.

By now, we've all heard about Pat Robertson's 21-day prayer vigil to make three supreme court justices leave the highest of benches in the land.

Their initial letter did state, "One justice is 83-years-old, another has cancer and another has a heart condition. Would it not be possible for God to put it in the minds of these three judges that the time has come to retire?" Or, perhaps, die? After all, why point out medical problems if you aren't considering them taking more lethal effect?

I grew up in a Christian household. My parents were members of the 700 Club. In fact, I was raised in Virginia Beach, VA, home of CBN. Maybe that's why I hate them so much. (EDIT: That last sentence refers to CBN, not my parents. Sorry for the confusion.)

But psychological scars aside, perhaps that's why I was so happy to see Larry Flint respond. Personally, I don't like Larry Flint, if only because I don't find it attractive when a woman can stretch her labia out to her kneecaps. But the man knows how to push the first amendment to its limit, and when one extreme issues a fatwa against appointed government officials, the only way to find balance is a demonstration by the other extreme.

Instead of turning the tables on Pat Robertson, though (and why not, Larry, considering your own experience with molesting Jerry Falwell's image?) he goes after Bill O'Reilly. Yesterday was National Prayer Day for the death of Bill O'Reilly. Favorite quote: "O, Lord, may he lose control of his bowels in those final moments so that the last and only warm feeling he ever experiences is his own shit." I only found out about this today, unfortunately. Not that I actually would have prayed, but I could have reported this in a more timely fashion.

Thanks for the laugh and the skewering satire, Mr. Flynt. Good luck with your gubernatorial campaign, and don't forget to empty the dishwasher. (Tangentially, working for Hustler and then complaining about sexual harrassment is like acting in a low-budget theatre company and complaining about having to wear your own black pants -- DUH.)