I know everything: where the weapons are; and I know where he’s brought the weapons he seized in Kuwait. I know where the depots are, in the north, south and center.

Of course, I could very well eat is posting.

By the way, I still don't know how true the theory that the war in Afghanistan was planned before Sept. 11th is, but the war in Iraq has sure been on the Bush-team's minds for quiet some time.

Some people can't take a freaking joke.

Indians (and I mean people from India, not the misnomer of Native Americans) are protesting a cartoon. That cartoon is MTV's Clone High USA, and the furor is over a teenage Mohandas Gandhi who loves to party and send "shizouts" to his friends. The argument is that this characterization is damaging to the history of Gandhi and insulting to his character.

I've seen 1½ episodes of Clone High. The concept is actually very funny, seeing what these important historical figures would be like if they were alive today. Nostradamus as the Dungeons and Dragons freak is a stroke of brilliance, if you ask me. From what I've seen, the episodes tend to revolve around Honest Abe trying to be honest with himself and his friends, and meanwhile trying to get all up in Cleopatra's hizzy, thus overlooking Joan of Arc's advances. The writing could be a little better, but the show is for late teens, so I can't hold it to a standard like The Simpsons (or Futurama, dammit). Besides, this is post 1990s MTV, and the script is just a delivery system for popular songs and guest apperances. Marilyn Manson singing about the Food Pyramid, though, was pretty boss.

Anyway, these characters are clones growing up in the 21st century. The fact that they are clones should be telling enough (look at the clone of Marie Curie). It's not like Last Temptation of Christ and the show is challenging the history that you've come to worship blindly. Who is anyone to say what Gandhi would have been like had he grown up with a cell phone and an MP3 player? Perhaps he would have grown up conflicted, having to choose between having fun or doing something to rebel against his oppressors; after all, having fun is the easier choice when we're bombarded with it from so many sources, like MTV, ironically.

Hey India: if you want to fast and protest something, how about the Cold War between you and Pakistan? You've got your own Weapons of Mass Destruction problem to deal with. That's oppressive aggression; I don't think protesting a silly cartoon is what Gandhi had in mind. In fact, I bet Gandhi would have found the caricature flattering and amusing.

Yes, suing crooked hospitals and pharmaceutical and insurance companies is the real reason poor folks can't get insurance. And as coincidence would have it, SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS USED TO LITIGATE CLASS-ACTION MEDICAL MALPRACTICE LAWSUITS. YES, SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS IS DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY UNINSURED MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Did I mention he's running for President?

Whitehouse.org outdoes themselves. Genius.

Put a cork in it, Nancy. And Ted -- few too many whiskey sours before the speech, eh?

Ah, the State of the Union.

Article II, section 3 of the Constitution reads, "[The president] shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient..." Washington gave a speech, John Adams gave a speech, but Thomas Jefferson did it in writing, and so it remained a written document, the President's "Annual Message," for 112 years. Woodrow Wilson revivified the speech in 1913, and it wasn't until 1935 that FDR actually called the speech the "State of the Union." (source)

Last night, King George II rained down the hellfire and brimstone of his State of the Union address. I was happy to see that he didn't introduce every single person sitting in the balcony with the First Lady like Clinton always did. I always thought that was cloying.

Nonetheless, last night's speech was, to say the least, scary and confusing.

For the record, my prediction was correct -- not once did the President utter the word "oil." He did mention "foreign sources of energy" in the biggest surprise of the evening -- $1.2 billion dollars to fund research in hydrogen-powered cars. In theory, that's fantastic, but without legislation requiring them, the research will go nowhere because there will be no demand for the vehicle. It sounds like lip service to me, the President deflecting the arguments that he's only after Iraq's oil. If he really wanted the hydrogen-powered engine, he'd earmark $1.2 billion dollars for hydrogen-powered tanks, airplanes, and other military vehicles. Then, the techology would trickle down into regional transportation, like buses and trains, and finally personal vehicles. And besides, I'm not sure if it's such a good idea driving little Hindenburgs at 65mph.

Ford already has a hydrogen-powered prototype that is proving to be very promising. $1.2 billion dollars sounds not only like lip service, but a kickback.

Then there's the $15 billion over the next five years to fight AIDS in Africa. Huh. Y'know, Bill Clinton had some programs that gave money to AIDS that were broad and covered people in the United States and Africa. Yet Bush's AIDS policies have been very narrow, with their budget's slashed, often focusing on such Christian-friendly topics as infected unborn children, which avoids discussing condoms or sex. And now $15 billion for AIDS in Africa? He specifically said, "treat at least two million people with life-extending drugs." Considering a big fundraiser for Bush is GlaxoSmithKline, chances are that the $15 billion is for barrels of Epivir.

What freaked me out the most in the entire speech was this statement:

All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. And many others have met a different fate. Put it this way... they are no longer a problem for the United States and our friends and allies.

Am I the only person who finds that statement little creepy? He might as well have said outright that he's trigger-happy.

Or how about the closing remarks:

   Americans are a free people, who know that freedom is the right of every person and the future of every nation. The liberty we prize is not America’s gift to the world, it is God’s gift to humanity.
   We Americans have faith in ourselves - but not in ourselves alone. We do not claim to know all the ways of Providence, yet we can trust in them, placing our confidence in the loving God behind all of life, and all of history.
   May He guide us now, and may God continue to bless the United States of America.

He had already mentioned funding faith-based programs in the speech, why not go totally zealot on our ass? These words have the same amount of fundamentalist vitriol as an Osama bin Laden speech -- imagine these words with "God" replaced by "Allah".

Y'know, we're not the only country that thinks they have a manifest destiny for imperialism. Here is a hint of what our 2004 election will be like, barring a miracle.

Speaking of war mongering scoundrels with more power than they deserve, King George II is going to give a little speech tonight. Count on him not to say "oil" in the entire speech. I'm hoping to get out of class soon enough to watch it and get my hands on some Zanax so I don't throw my television through the window.

Oh, and Apple slashed their prices. "Arlo, you keep talking about how much you love Apple computers. When are you going to buy one?" Like you really care, but I can finally answer that question. Daddy's going to buy a PowerBook for graduation.

Yes, that almost two years away, and who knows what Apple will have by then. But I look at it this way: my Athlon XP 1700+ is serving me well, and we almost exclusively use Macs at school. After I graduate, I will be Mac-less. Before I lose the student discount, I'll make my purchase and a congratulations to myself. I think that's a good deal, don't you?

Not sure what the source is, but 800 missiles? Holy crap.

The good news:

"I will explain the concerns of our people and the international society over the nuclear issue and explore ways of resolving it peacefully."

The bad news:

"Iraq appears not to have come to a genuine acceptance - not even today - of the disarmament which was demanded of it."

Today, I received an e-mail petition claiming that the UN "is gathering signatures in an effort to avoid a tragic world event." First of all, if the UN were gathering signatures, do you really think they'd do it with an e-mail? Second, has anyone learned that e-mail petitions and virus warnings are quite nearly always bullshit? Don't perpetuate the problem.

This fake "UN" petition pisses me off even more. Yes, Bush's approval ratings are dropping, but so will the bombs. In our microwave society, forwarding an e-mail must generate that feeling of accomplishment for some. It's that passivity that has gotten us to this point.

Do you want to do something? Then do something. Don't just forward an e-mail.

I mean no disrespect to the person that forwarded me the e-mail. For all I know, she has donated money to causes and marched in the cold.

If we want change, we have to make it happen. This country was founded on resistance and has grown because of it. We don't have drugs or the draft or good music with which we can rally resistance; and if any more buildings blow up in the US, that will just raise the battle flag higher. It's a daunting task ahead for those of us who disagree with Bush's foreign policy. God (or whatever) have mercy on us.

The case against Paul Rubens. A fascinating article raising questions about the definition of child pornography and heralding the "not guilty" verdict that Pee-Wee Herman justly deserves. I'm not quite sure what to say about this article because it challenges a lot of deeply ingrained opinions that I can neither explain nor justify, but it makes a whole hell of a lot of sense and has placed me smack dab in the middle of a philosophical conundrum. An excellent read.

This development could bring a whole new meaning to iLife. Scientists are using ordinary ink jet printers human tissue. By filling the cartridges with cells and proteins, these scientists are constructing living tissues that could one day replace damaged cells.

What of the consumer possibilities? Yeah, yeah, save some rich old CEO's life because he can afford the health care. Screw that. What could I do with one of these printers? One thing I thought of: tattoos. If I could print a sheet of skin with a tattoo that I could stick onto my body that could then fuse with the skin I already have, I'd have a tattoo without all the pain of getting a tattoo. Because I really am a pussy when it comes to such things.

However, like most science news stories, nothing will come of it. And considering the reports that one-fourth of university medial research exhibits a conflict of interest, I'm going to take all things with a grain of salt unless my doctor needs to save my life.

It's no surprise, though. After all, what isn't a conflict of interest these days? For example, mainstream news is owned by huge media conglomerates. How can CBS News (owned by Viacom) be unbiased reporting about, say, campaign finance reform when they are Sen. John McCain's "fourth biggest 'career patron'" and have used said influence to even have their stake in CBS in the first place? Even ABC News had to kill a story about Disney World hiring practices because they were told to by their owner -- Disney.

As much as I would like to avoid monopolies and corporate dictatorship, it's impossible. I can't stop using Microsoft software, lest I lose my job. I can't stop watching the news because it's my responsibility as a human being to do so (thank God for the Internet). And I still love movies, music, and television.

As long as Bush is losing points, I haven't completely lost faith in people. I simply wish that corporations (medical, media, whatever) would realize that they can make as much money doing thing beneficial for society than if they were bowing to the least common denominator. Put your money behind excellent music and films -- imagine if you put your marketing weight behind Adaptation instead of Kangaroo Jack. The unwashed masses are looking to corporations to tell them what to do. The corporations look to the unwashed masses to tell them what they want. Corporations could take the lead and empower people for good and still make a profit.

Yet again, my idealism gets the best of me. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a Coke.

So much for a "slow news day." Proof that Bush wants the Christian version of the Taliban in the United States: Jerry Thacker. I'm so saddened and angry that I just want to laugh.

Like you really care, but I'll admit it -- I love television, in an "I don't do cocaine, I just like the way it smells" kind of way. If I need to stop staring at my computer screen, nothing beats staring at the television screen.

Cartoon Network is now airing the sorely underrated, underwatched, and underfed (by Fox executives) Futurama. I should applaud this turn of events, but I can't. When it's 10:00PM CST, I'm home from school, and I want someone else to do the thinking for me and make me laugh, I'm left with a terrible conundrum:

Do I watch Futurama or The Daily Show?

Sure, The Daily Show is reaired at 12:00 AM CST, but by then, I need to sleep. (I'm not getting any younger, y'know.)

So I need a PVR, plain and simple. I've never been a big fan of videotaping. I'll program the VCR to tape Survivor (the guiltiest of all my guilty pleasures), but I won't generate shelves upon shelves of tapes because they take up too much damn room. A PVR makes perfect sense too me, especially if I could roll my own with an old PC and a CD-burner so I could store the shows on VCDs. That's the nerdy way to do it.

I bring this up because there is a great interview in The Onion with four of the coorespondents on The Daily Show, including the always brilliant Stephen Colbert. It seems a perfect fit, too, since The Onion and The Daily Show are just about the best examples of political satire today (next to, of course, This Modern World and Get Your War On).

Okay, that was rambling. And inconsequential. I guess it's a slow news day.

Did the US military shoot down Flight 93? My assertion that I'm not a conspiracy theorist is weakening.

New addition to Bored: Get Your War On

These cartoons employing cheap, risible clip art and a voracious appetite for the F-word were a huge hit following September 11th and at the onset of Operation Enduring Freedom. After all, it was refreshing for someone to skewer King George's actions amidst all of the flag waving. There are new cartoons as recent as January 19, 2003, and there's even a book. Worth checking regularly.

I love this quote: "Now that the court has ordered Verizon to live up to its obligation under the law, we look forward to contacting the account holder whose identity we were seeking so we can let them know that what they are doing is illegal."

(knock knock)

"Yo, who are all you guys in the suits?"

"Hello, young man. We're with the Recording Industry Association of America? Your ISP was forced to give us your name and address."

"Uhh..."

"The Smashmouth album that you downloaded was obtained illegally. We are confiscating your computer."

"Don't you need, like, a warrant?"

"No, not at all. We're a trade organization not affiliated with any law enforcement agency."

"So aren't you stealing my computer and, like, invading my privacy?"

"Certainly not. Under the DMCA, you actually stole from us. This computer is already stolen property because it contains copyrighted material obtained illegally."

"Big deal. It's not, like, a bomb or something."

"Oh, so it's a bomb now. We're going to contact the FBI and you will be placed in prison without charges or right to an attorney under the Patriot Act."

"Dude, and I don't even like Smashmouth."

Kevin Mitnick can finally use the Internet.

If you're not familiar with Kevin Mitnick, reading the linked article, should fill you in a little bit. He didn't almost start a nuclear war, but he did steal a lot of proprietary software. However, he took the fall for a new type of crime in the '80s that was difficult for laymen to understand and simply scaring the bejeesus out of everyone.

Now you can buy the computers he did it with. It's a little beat up, but I'm guessing it has historical significance. And if someone's willing to drop $14,000 on an Apple I, then I don't think Mr. Mitnick will have a problem selling his old 486s.

In other news, if you thought injecting faces with botulism poison was vain, now it'll help your armpits. Yes, some people are stinky, but it's probably because they don't eat right or shower often enough. I know that over the weekend, I ate a lot of this chili that I made, and I stunk despite showering. It wore off, and I took a shower, but I didn't go get a Botox injection. Nor would I. Are we all suddenly becoming Michael Jackson?

"Warren Buffett, who – among with several other World Trade Center executives – went to Offutt AFB before the attacks on the morning of September 11. This is where Bush went after the attacks began."

And that's just an honorable mention in the Top Ten Conspiracy Theories of 2002. I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I'm not a conspiracy theorist. However, when presented with the facts, Ockham's Razor be damned.

As I continue my schooling, I become more and more of a snob about design. Now that I’m reading the most pretentious book about typography ever written on my own accord, my snobbery is escalating to new heights. So far, I’ve been very good at quelling my urge to say things such as, “Those two typefaces don’t go together because the x-height of your body type is much too proportionally large compared to your headline type, and your body type is influenced by early 20th century French design, so I can’t see how that type is applicable to your subject matter, plus your leading is far too tight, and just because there’s white space there doesn’t mean you have to fill it.” (Deep breath.) “Furthermore...” I can get away with that in class where I pride myself with being the teacher’s pet, but at my job where I don’t have a position in the art department or to my friends who believe because they own computers they are immediately graphic designers, I bite my tongue unless I’m invited to offer criticism.

However, I do have one typographic pet peeve that I consider unforgiveable, and I will lash out violently if I haven’t had my morning coffee yet. I see it in the work of plenty of modern designs. Typography books and classes drill it into your head. Microsoft Word, Quark, InDesign, and PageMaker all make the change for you. And editors, who are hired for their mastery of the language, should know better. Yet, it’s still a scourge.

Ladies and gentlemen, these are quotation marks:

...and these are not:

The latter are called primes and are used for units of measurement, like feet and inches, or minutes and seconds when measuring angles. The curvature of typographic quotes (or smart quotes) encompasses the quoted material much like (parenthesis) and [brackets] do.

One can also compare proper quotation marks to the Spanish custom of sentence punctuation, like when a child cannot have an extra churro after dinner and he asks, “¿Por qué no?”

Of course, smart quotes don’t exist on the keyboard. And on the web, we are only stuck with "dumb" quotes unless we want to insert painstakingly all of the character codes, which I’ve done in this entry (phew). Even then, the character codes may not work for many older browsers, and with the small point size of the text and the low-resolution of monitors, you can hardly tell the difference anyway. The limitations of technology are not my beef. My beef is with lazy graphic designers.

Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop do not automatically change quotes to the proper typographical versions, though recent versions of Illustrator do have a function that searches and replaces quotes in the document. Use it. Better yet, designers already have to learn so many keyboard combinations already, so you might as well learn a few more:

	Mac	Windows*
‘	Option+]	Alt+0145
’	Shift+Option+]	Alt+0146
“	Option+[	Alt+0147
”	Shift+Option+[	Alt+0148
*Type numbers on numeric keypad!

Details are what separate the women from the girls in design. Overlooking this particular detail is a clear indication that you have no earthly idea what you’re doing. Show me a good design with detail paid to typography, and I'm sure to exclaim, “¡Su diseño es rico suave!”

(By the way, the same goes for apostrophes. And remember that you read it on Arlo’s blog.)

And so it begins. The warheads are empty, but "in excellent condition."

You know who has a lot of warheads in excellent condition? North Korea. And their weapons are filled to the brim. Which is why we don't dare attack them.

The Bush administration's hypocrisy is starting to show to the general populace, and thank God.

I was reading this morning's Brown Eye. (After all, it's still free.) On a spread overviewing former Illinois Governor George "I'm not a crook, either" Ryan's blanket clemency that he granted to death row inmates on his way out the door, a number of letters from readers were printed in response to Ryan's actions. One letter stated (I'm paraphrasing) that we shouldn't pay for a lifetime of room-and-board when we can just kill the person.

If you're a sociopath and you kill and molest children and the like, I, for one, don't think you deserve to live. However, I am opposed to the death penalty for exactly the reason that the letter to Brown Eye was 100% wrong. Politicians opposed to capital punishment rarely discuss the issue in this manner because it could be construed as disrespectful of the sanctity of life. Here's the unpopular truth:

The cost of capital punishment is considerably higher than the cost of life imprisonment.

The burden of proof should be exceptionally high. "Without a reasonable doubt," as it applies to a death penalty case, should be regarded as a holy statement, like "love thy neighbor," "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," or "she means nothing to me, baby, I swear."

Thankfully, the burden of proof in a capital case is so-o-o-o-o high. "How high is it?" The burden of proof is so high (i.e., so expensive) in capital punishment cases, often in the millions of dollars, that the goverment spends more money to seek the death penalty than it would cost to incarcerate the criminal for life. At the very least, capital punishment is a waste of money.

Life imprisonment sounds like a fate worse than death to me. If you gave me the choice between living in a box for the rest of my days or the chair, I'd take the chair in a second. Furthermore, if someone I love was brutally murdered, on an emotional level, I'm sure I'd want the murder dead. I think, though, that I'd eventually rest easier knowing that the murder is rotting in a cell somewhere and hopefully getting gang raped. No, I don't think that person deserves to live, but is life in a prison really living?

Yes, I'm hung over. Shut up!

Saw Interpol last night at the Empty Bottle. It was refreshing to see a band that's "breaking" in such a small venue -- the entire first row had cameras, the flashes popping constantly. You won't see that at Metro.

A friend of a friend said after the show (who hadn't heard Interpol), "Wow. That was really derivative." Here's my question, which I won't ponder too long because, like I mentioned, I'm hung over -- is it possible not to be derivative anymore? Is there anything truly original left to do musically? Every musician at this point is going to be compared to other bands, by the media, by record storeowners, and by Kazaa users. Is being derivative a bad thing?

Interpol's music evokes a lot of 80s bands -- Joy Division, Psychedelic Furs, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Smiths. I think it mostly stems from the singer's voice -- baritone, melancholy, and sedulous. The arpeggio guitar work, heavy on delay and reverb, also adds to the reminiscent gothic atmosphere of their music. What makes them different from the four bands I mentioned above, I think, is as simple as their nationality. While the bands I mentioned above all hail from Britannia, Interpol is from New York, and Interpol sounds like an New York band. The moodiness of those English bands with the pulse of a teeming American metropolis creating a unique mood and rhythm that makes Interpol stand out.

So is it bad to be derivative? I say not at all. Everyone is derivative. The Greeks swiped ideas from the Orient. Renaissance Europe swiped from the Greeks and the Romans. Even the so-called "New Typography" of Switzerland was simply a conglomeration of Futurism and Constructivism, and Helvetica (along with its "shameless imposter" Arial) is simply a reworking of my all-time favorite font Akzidenz Grotesk. As far as music goes, there is nothing Christina Aguilera* can do that Madonna hasn't already done that Janis Joplin or Nancy Sinatra hadn't already thought about.

Influences are necessary, and it's fine to wear those influences like a badge. So let Interpol sound like whoever they want to, whether they do it intentionally or unintentionally because at least they show the songwriting prowess and craft to grow and explore -- the new song they played last night was fantastic. Besides, U2's first album sounded like a Wire album, and only now, over 20 years after the release of Boy, are they now making bland, derivative music.

*I hope I'm not the only one that thinks Christina Aguilera has a weirdly proportioned body.

LINK-O-RAMA!

"Although the Americans say it is up to Iraq to prove it does not have illicit weapons, much of the world thinks it is up to America to prove that it does."

The Advertising Artwork of Dr. Seuss

Should websites should be usable...

...or should websites have flowing ch'i...

...or should websites be as amateurish as possible?

Why Apple will be better off WITHOUT Microsoft

Two people we should be talking about more: Charles Pickering and Wesley Clark

The universe begins its renaissance

Does the US acutally know something Hans Blix doesn't? Looks like they'll never tell.

For everything that happens in our country, something much stranger and/or deplorable has happened in Africa. The borders are redrawn more than a cartoon character. Someone's always fighting a bloody battle for power. The human rights violations there are deplorable.

Unfortunately, the mainstream news agencies of the United States only report about African events and issues if it fits at least one of three criteria: (1) it involves white people; (2) it involves a celebrity; (3) it's fucking wierd.

You have to hand it to African rebels -- they can instill fear. Sure, Islamic extremists can strap a bomb to their chest and run into a shopping mall, only to be greeted by death and not a heaven teeming with virgins. But it takes guts -- especially a stomach -- to eat those who fail you. Bad ass!

Pygmies, the cornish game hens of the human race, are considered to be the first humans, and they are going extinct. The last thing we need is for the pygmies to become a delicacy.

The history of Africa is so overwhelming that I don't know where to begin. I read a little about the Congo to prepare for this entry, but there's just too much for me to digest in one morning. Bono's right, though. The US should invest money in African nations to help stabilize their governments and build their industries, with strong environmental statues, though, to avoid pollution and urban sprawl. What an idealistic life I lead.

King George and his court should definitely invest in Africa. After all, many of those countries have oil, many with dictators who commit human rights violations. You like going after those kinds of countries, don't you, Mr. President?

I couldn't wait to post this. I'm not going to go so far as to say Jesus was a stoner, but the messiah's ability to heal may have been due to a special ingredient in his annointing oil.

"If cannabis was one of the main ingredients of the ancient anointing oil... and receiving this oil is what made Jesus the Christ and his followers Christians, then persecuting those who use cannabis could be considered anti-Christ."

The irony doesn't get much better.

And to think I had completely written off morning DJs. I'd like to see Howard Stern try to pull off something like these guys did. Sure, the only real political statement they pulled off was "Get out of Venezuela, (expletive), terrorist! You're finishing off your people. Animal, assassin, (expletive)!" However, the fact of the matter is, two guys were able to actually, directly tell a leader of a country, like ours, destined to collapse, that he's a scumbag

The best we can hope for such a direct jab is to wait for a reporter to try and outsmart Ari Fleischer, King George's token Jew. This Modern World shared some transcript snippets of the great Helen Thomas getting a great jab in. Here's the snippet:

Q At the earlier briefing, Ari, you said that the President deplored the taking of innocent lives. Does that apply to all innocent lives in the world? And I have a follow-up.

MR. FLEISCHER: I refer specifically to a horrible terrorist attack on Tel Aviv that killed scores and wounded hundreds. And the President, as he said in his statement yesterday, deplores in the strongest terms the taking of those lives and the wounding of those people, innocents in Israel.

Q My follow-up is, why does he want to drop bombs on innocent Iraqis?

MR. FLEISCHER: Helen, the question is how to protect Americans, and our allies and friends --

Q They're not attacking you.

MR. FLEISCHER: -- from a country --

Q Have they laid the glove on you or on the United States, the Iraqis, in 11 years?

MR. FLEISCHER: I guess you have forgotten about the Americans who were killed in the first Gulf War as a result of Saddam Hussein's aggression then.

Q Is this revenge, 11 years of revenge?

MR. FLEISCHER: Helen, I think you know very well that the President's position is that he wants to avert war, and that the President has asked the United Nations to go into Iraq to help with the purpose of averting war.

Q Would the President attack innocent Iraqi lives?

MR. FLEISCHER: The President wants to make certain that he can defend our country, defend our interests, defend the region, and make certain that American lives are not lost.

Q And he thinks they are a threat to us?

MR. FLEISCHER: There is no question that the President thinks that Iraq is a threat to the United States.

Q The Iraqi people?

MR. FLEISCHER: The Iraqi people are represented by their government. If there was regime change, the Iraqi --

Q So they will be vulnerable?

MR. FLEISCHER: Actually, the President has made it very clear that he has not dispute with the people of Iraq. That's why the American policy remains a policy of regime change. There is no question the people of Iraq --

Q That's a decision for them to make, isn't it? It's their country.

MR. FLEISCHER: Helen, if you think that the people of Iraq are in a position to dictate who their dictator is, I don't think that has been what history has shown.

Q I think many countries don't have -- people don't have the decision -- including us.

My boldfacing. Now that is some funny shiznat.

An economic stimulus that only benefits the rich? Lethal toxins confiscated in Britain? Daschle wises up? PHOOEY! I want to talk about Apple.

Too big to carry, but too cool to pass up? Behold: the 17" Powerbook. The geeks at Slashdot (at least the Mac-friendly ones) are drooling over it. And, yeah, supercool and all, but holy Jesus that's a big laptop. Other than geeks and folks with laptop envy, what purpose does this machine serve? Am I going to edit feature films on the train? I want a laptop so I can do work whenever and wherever, but I don't want to lug around a skateboard-sized computer.

However, the idea of replacing a desktop with a notebook is a good one -- less syncing, less redundant info. It was Apple that introduced the idea of a docking station in the first place. If you want a 17" monitor on your notebook, go for it. I, for one, would be plenty happy with a 12" monitor on my Powerbook and a 23" display at home to plug into it. Get the best you can out of portability and the best out of sitting at a desk. For me, the 17" Powerbook is an unnecessary compromise.

The Democrats don't stand a chance in 2004. Biden, Daschle, Gephardt, and Lieberman are pussies. Kerry has a face made for radio. Edwards is a possiblity, but he has no foreign policy experience, and since by 2004 we'll be mired in a war with Iraq and fending off the retaliation of suicide bombers at every local mall in the country, a changing of the guard will not be in Joe Lunchbox's best interest.

My money is on Gov. Howard Dean of Vermont. Governors theoretically make better presidents because they have executive experience, and that executive experience is focused on people. Howard Dean cut taxes in Vermont and still paid off a state deficit and created jobs. He cares deeply about environmental issues and women's issues. And you've got to give props to any political candidate from a major party who has the balls to say this:

One of our biggest security threats is our energy policy. The money which helped finance Osama bin Laden's attacks was our money. Because of our dependence on Middle East oil, the U.S. sent money to Saudi Arabia, which was used in part to fund the fundamentalist Islamic schools in Pakistan and elsewhere which teach hatred of Christians, Jews and Americans. These schools have become fertile recruiting territory for Al Qaeda.

That statement alone skewers King George's foreign policy and could turn the tide in the election should Operation Enduring Obfuscation turn sour.

I encourage all two or three of you who occasionally read this site to learn more about Howard Dean. He may be our only hope to regain civility and common sense for this nation.

On another note, yesterday I said I wasn't ruling out the Raelians yet. Today, I did.

Happy New Year, y'all. I didn't finish my web site, but I'm rushing to get it done before classes start on the 13th. Those of you who read this boring shit will get a sneak peak as soon as I'm ready to beta test.

Are the Raelians yanking our chain? I'm not willing to dismiss them just yet. Rael and that doctor with the bad teeth make Clonaid look like a legitimate company (check out their Clonapet service, coming soon for "wealthy individuals"). Furthermore, it's not like there haven't been similar claims by noted scientists. We'll know the truth soon enough.

The public furor over human cloning is fascinating. The fear is fueled by science fiction and religious zealotry. Cloning is not (yet) the Brave New World process of making Alphas and Epsilons, nor is it Homer Simpson's recent magic hammock. It's a detailed, painstaking process frought with problems. Dolly has many physical problems, blamed primarily on the age and quality of the source cells. And since the clones have to develop in a womb, they won't become the engineered slaves or soldiers of tomorrow.

The religious fear is more palpable. It's the same "where does life begin?" question that fuels abortion debate, though, ironically, this issue is about creating life, not destroying it.

Perhaps it's my own Baptist-cum-Pentacostal upbringing, but I do oppose abortion in the third-trimester. At that point, the child can live, so I think it's too late. On the same token, I say no way to reproductive cloning, too. The problems are too great for the child's quality of life. Theraputic cloning, like making stem cells for research, is A-OK in my book.

I do hope, however, that Eve is real. Then governments will have to make a decision, and the decision will probably be the one I agree with. :)

Besides, when there are already too many people on the planet, when we have too much death control and not enough birth control, why would we want cloning anyway? Try to close that can of worms.

O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in't!