Here, fishy fishy fishy...
As some of you might know, I'm a big fat fuck. I started the year at around 290 pounds, got down to around 279, went on vacation and am now back up in the 290 range. I've been reading a lot of stuff on dieting lately, and among the many and varied suggestions for weight loss one consistent piece of advice that always popped up is to eat more fish.
Now I'm totally cool with this. I like me some fish. I'm a seafood fan in general. Just last week I ate conch. That was a trip. But today I'm now reading that for the love of Jebus we have to stop eating all the damn fish, because we're about to run out.
I could, I suppose, become a vegetarian. However, the very notion of me eating nothing but sprouts and leaves and crap like that makes me giggle. I can't help it -- I love the meat. And this whole eat-more-fish idea sounded like a great plan until I found out I'd ruin the world with it.
I really have nothing to say about it. I'm starting to think, fuck it, I'm just gonna eat cupcakes and drink Mountain Dew until I die. Unless any of you have a better suggestion?
9 Comments:
I mentioned my health kick recently on this blog. Last check-up with the doctor, I had lost seven pounds (which is good for a scrawny punk like me) and my blood pressure dropped. However, my cholesterol still went up 14 points.
So I went to a nutritionist, and she told me my whole problem is that I don't get enough fiber. In fact, most everybody's major problem is not enough fiber. Soluble fiber grabs cholesterol, fat, and various other lipids and removes them from your body. More whole grains and maybe even a fiber supplement will help a lot. 24g a day. But don't just immediately load up on fiber or you'll fart uncontrollably.
A lot of that fish, like tuna and salmon, are actually really fatty.
So enjoy a nice piece of tilapia (a vegetarian fish, according to the article) with some whole-grain bread and vegetables. That's a sensible meal anyone can enjoy.
On the other hand, you can just give up. The day I found out after my hard work my cholesterol actually went UP, I ate at Taco Bell. Even if we had all the fish we need and then some, there's still all that mercury.
In summation: Good luck. We're all counting on you.
When it comes to diet and exercise, my advice is to find something you WILL do - not something that you've read is the absolute best case scenario.
Fiber is a good suggestion. It helps our stomachs to feel full as well as providing the other benefits Arlo mentioned (and side effects.)
Most of the fish available in the grocery stores is farm raised. So don't worry about depleting the lakes and oceans. However, wild fish is better for you, if you can find it. Canned sardines are wild caught, I've read.
Just don't give up!
3 words:
Dance Dance Revolution
The important thing is that you maintain an unrelenting disdain for your body. Allow it to be a disdain that can (and does) inform your sense of self-worth. If possible, link this perception of your body to that of your actions and, by proxy, to your character. Here’s a little tip: after you evacuate your bowels, take a good long look into the toilet and think, “…that’s me. That’s what I’m made of. That’s who I am.” Eventually you’ll be able to see any large body of water as an extension of your own toilet bowl. All your fish problems will be solved.
With kind regards to:
"Most of the fish available in the grocery stores is farm raised. So don't worry about depleting the lakes and oceans." ...
Fish hatched in hatcheries are routinely released to the wild, where they do most of their untended grazing and growing. The problem that arises is that these fish also routinely out-compete wild fish. Hatchery-raised fish are much much larger, much meaner, immune to infection, etc. The wild fish of the lakes and oceans, in short, don't stand a chance against the increasingly numerous hatchery animals that swim in their waters.
Truly, hatcheries are a significant contributor to the degradation of wild fish populations for just that reason. Hatcheries service the demand for fish by piggy-backing on local ecosystems. They are not isolated and independent "farms" that spare wild pupulations from harvest Rather, like many family and corporate ranches, they produce their stock on the fat of public lands and waters, and at the direct expense of wild animals.
But, as a state legislator of mine recently observed: When your watress brings you your salmon dinner, you can't tell if it's farm or wild, so what's the difference?
Ah, the old Fiber Farts. I know them well.
Thank you all for the advice -- especially Kelly. I can always count on that guy.
I am not frustrated so much by the losing weight part of the issue. I know what I need to do; I just have to get off my fat ass and do it. I was more bent out of shape that an option for healthy eating that I actually enjoy turns out to have a negative environmental impact. It's one thing to swear off Burger King because it will give you many heart attacks and they also deplete rain forests. I can get on board with that. But a big hurdle I am encountering in my whole fitness quest is finding foods that a) are good for me, and b) that I can stand eating. What can I say; I grew up on macaroni & cheese and hot dogs. Fish like salmon, with its high omega-3 fatty acid content, seemed like a good option, but now I'm being guilted out of it.
Of course, maybe it's like in the late '80s when there was that whole "apples give you cancer" scare.
Also, the phrase "sensible meal anyone can enjoy" means when you are finished you will wonder when the main course is coming, and you will hope that the main course is fried chicken stuffed with cheeseburgers. Sorry, Arlo.
I recommend Brownberry Wheat Bread, it's yummy.
Dieting sucks, but it's something I have to do several times a year. Increasing paunch is something I've battled since quitting smoking. I've been very frustrated with dieting for many reasons, including all the work that goes into finding foods to eat. You know all the mantras for losing weight, so I can offer my own experience with something that was helpful: Seattle Suttons. It might be good for you because they find the food for you for all your meals. At most, you only have to use the microwave. You get variety, decent portions, and convenience. Just pick up your meals twice a week. Now, the portions are smaller and not all the food packs the delicious goodness of Burger King, but you don't have to cook, you know you're getting fresh healthy food and it'll help in the weight loss. It helped me and I've seen it help another fella. I did it for a couple of months and got back to cooking after I'd taken some weight off. It's the same price as shopping at the grocery store. I hope this helps, and best of success to you.
If you want to go with the whole despising-the-body angle from Kelly, either start smoking or increase your current smoking level. You'll amp your metabolism, get sick more often, therby eating less, and you're destroying yourself in the process; winners all for the actively self-hating. Oh how I wish I could smoke again.
I am a fat fuck too. A female one at that. I am also an old fat fuck and now I am diabetic. Yep, that is what you will eventually get. And damn, it is a bad scene. You feel listless, your fingers get numb, you feel nauseated, you get depressed and eventually some way or other, you die from the disease. Oh well, us fat fucks gotta die of something. May I have another chocolate from that box of Whitmans' ?? Yum...
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