Open Thread Thurs... (oops)

See here. This article is quite interesting; a call to adopt a legal framework for Terrorism (and those who support it) based on the laws and treaties which successfully marginalized the practice of piracy. Here are some excerpts:

After a series of draconian laws passed by George I of England effectively banished pirates from the Atlantic, the Mediterranean corsairs emerged as pre-eminent maritime mercenaries in the employ of any European state wishing to harass another. This situation proved disastrous. …[It] led to the Declaration of Paris in 1856, signed by England, France, Spain, and most other European nations, which abolished the use of piracy for state purposes. Piracy became and remained beyond the pale of legitimate state behavior.

[…]

The corollaries between the pirates' "war against the world" and modern terrorism are profound and disturbing. With their vengeful practices, pirates were the first and perhaps only historical precedent for the terrorist cell: a group of men who bound themselves in extraterritorial enclaves, removed themselves from the protection and jurisdiction of the nation-state, and declared war against civilization. Both pirates and terrorists deliberately employ this extranationality as a means of pursuing their activities. The pirates hid in the myriad shoals and islands of the Atlantic. The terrorists hide in cells throughout the world. Both seek through their acts to bring notice to themselves and their causes. They share means as well—destruction of property, frustration of commerce, and homicide. Most important, both are properly considered enemies of the rest of the human race.

Interesting stuff, to be sure. While I was reading this article the White House called me. Well, to be more accurate, a very dumb woman called me from the White House switchboard. I had assisted in the composition of a letter to the President and this dingbat pre-school dropout was calling me because she couldn't decipher the unbelievably obvious information therein. Additionally, the letter should have been processed a month ago. Incompetence has apparently infected every cubicle in their building.

Furthermore, last night I drank two bottles of beer before I went to bed. This morning I sauntered confidently into the elevator at work. Fortunately, I was alone in the elevator when the two bottles of beer finally reached the terminus of their combustive journey through my innards. Loudly, and not without feeling, I bore down and released a horrid blast of flatulence. It was, in all modesty, an olfactory nightmare. Five seconds after my fanny jettisoned this wafting cloud of pure evil, the elevator door opened onto a floor five stories below my own... and a solitary woman boarded the car. Singular in her beauty and in the full flower of her youth, this subtle creature possessed in abundance the most divine qualities of femininity. Furthermore, she displayed all the relaxed joy of a person habituated to appreciate the glory of morning and the limitless potential of each new day. Boy howdy... I wiped that smile right off her face.