Deep Throat Induces Gag Reflex

Hey everybody! Peggy Noonan is about to sound off in her affable way about some folksy peccadillo of the secular left! Let's all gather 'round the nuclear family and hear what she has to say:

Some wounds don't fully heal because they're too deep and cut too close to the bone.

Hey, Peggy… old news. I know what you're going to say. You're going to get all cranky about Jane Fonda and that silliness with the North Vietnamese. Look, she's already been spat on by the vets; does she really need to be spat on by you? Because right-wingers and angry vets are boycotting her movie little people are suffering – little people who deserve better. I'm talking about Wanda Sykes. Now that's one funny woman! Don't crush her movie career before it even gets off the ground. Seriously.

The story that Deep Throat was Mark Felt has torn open old wounds.

Oh… SNAP! You totally caught me off guard there. Deep Throat? Wow. I really didn't expect you to jump on that one. Seriously. I thought that you pretty much stuck to defending, lionizing, & beatifying Ronald "The Gipper" Reagan. I never would have guessed that you would unload your pack of backlit, soft-focus, boilerplate syllogisms in defense of Nixon. I'm shocked.

What Mr. Felt helped produce was a weakened president who was a serious president at a serious time.

Felt help to "produce" Nixon? Wow. I always thought that it was Satan's clammy intestines that produced Nixon. Thanks for straightening out that little bit of history for us. I sure do love history.

Nixon's ruin led to a cascade of catastrophic events--the crude and humiliating abandonment of Vietnam and the Vietnamese, the rise of a monster named Pol Pot, and millions--millions--killed in his genocide. America lost confidence; the Soviet Union gained brazenness. What a terrible time.

Holy Shit! You're actually saying that Felt is guilty of causing genocide!! No way. You can't be saying that. That's too much. Hold on a second, I'm going to read that again – I must've mistaken what you said. [Pause] Nope. You said that. Why didn't you say this sooner!? We should've dragged Bob Woodward into court and forced him to name Deep Throat, the horrible killer and perpetrator of crimes against humanity. Why didn't you connect the dots for us sooner? It is because you're a shallow, stupid, deceitful, shabby, partisan douche bag?

Is it terrible when an American president lies and surrounds himself by dirty tricksters? Yes, it is. How about the butchering of children in the South China Sea. Is that worse? Yes. Infinitely, unforgettably and forever.

Yep. You're a douche bag.

[…] Mark Felt cannot have intended to encourage such epic destruction. He must have thought he was doing the right thing, protecting his agency and maybe getting some forgivable glee out of making Nixon look bad. But oh the implications. Literally: the horror.

Which horror are you referring to here fuckwit retard Peggy? The horror of the children being strangled by Mark Felt's bare hands, or the horror of watching a criminal Republican stooge being mocked and stripped of power?

… the MSM will stick with the heroic narrative. Mr. Felt was Deep Throat. Deep Throat was a great man who helped a great newspaper put the stop to the lies and abuses of an out-of-control White House. End of story. Why? Because in celebrating this story in a certain way journalists of a certain age celebrate themselves. Because to bring unwelcome and unwanted skepticism to the narrative would be to deny 20th-century journalism--and 21st-century journalists--their great claim to glory. Because the MSM is still liberal, and the great Satan of all liberals, still, is Richard Nixon.

Nice use of "MSM" for "Main Stream Media" – you're one savvy bitch! But what really floors me is that you seem to be advocating for "unwelcome and unwanted skepticism". (!?) Peggy, Peggy, Peggy. Darling. For someone who flings around acronyms like "MSM" you're woefully ignorant of what's available online – particularly with respect to "unwelcome and unwanted skepticism". Oh, but wait. I'm talking about George W. Bush and Iraq. You're not. Sorry. I forgot about your affection for double-standards and hypocrisy. Besides, you're not talking about the internet. You're talking about the "MSM". Now, here I just have to disagree with you. The "MSM" isn't liberal. That's just a flat-out lie. When you lie like that, you sort of undercut everything you say. It makes you look like a damn fool. And if we've learned nothing else from Deep Throat, we've learned that people who lie should be forced to resign.

I guess I just should have taken Josh Marshall at his word when he said that you're "…actually SwiftBoating this guy." Tsk tsk, you shameless harpy. Tsk tsk.

ADDENDUM: Media Matters on the genocide charge.