Vietnam anyone?
Some people might be prone to wonder thusly: “If Bush choked on a pickle the other day, y’all would be blogging up a storm of wry digs…but when dozens are killed in Iraq by mujahideen – silence.” To these people I say this: “Take a long suck off the snotty end of my fuckstick, hombre!” If you read this blog you must know that we hate the troops. We hate God, Freedom and maternal pussy (don’t ask me why, I just work here). We also hate animals…mostly because they’re stupid brutes. When an animal misbehaves by evacuating its bowels onto the futon, we grab it by the scruff and jam its nose in the offending turd and scream, “You see that dipshit!? DON’T CRAP ON THE FUTON!” Then we beat the beast…hard. In a manner of speaking, Bush crapped on the futon back in 2003. The sad reality therefore cannot be denied: there’s crap on the futon.
1 Comments:
Following the crap on the futon analogy:
If someone was going to buy a futon AND own a beast (presumably a dog), you might think said person would Scotchgard the futon and/or train the dog. But if you haven't taken any preventative measures and you now have crap on your futon, what do you do?
We didn't have a good foreign policy for years OR a good plan for assembling a larger, well equipped military force in the event that one was needed and we have a poorly justified and executed war on our hands being fought by an overextended and less than adequately equipped military force (not to mention that over 10,000 American former Special Forces are now serving as "civilian contractors" in "Mess-O-Potamia" [thanks 'Daily Show']. Iraq is crap on our futon.
I think the thing to do is go back to what our original aims would be and move to accomplish them. For crap on the futon, clean the futon now. Then start training the damn dog. And Scotchgard to fucking thing while you're at it.
In Iraq, open real diplomatic dialogue with a political players in Iraq so that we can encourage communication and discourage attacks on our troops and Iraqis who are trying to put together local governing infrastructure. That would be the train the dog part. As for cleaning the futon, stop going house to house ruining people's lives under the guise of "hunting insurgents and terrorists." Tear down Abu Ghraib. Find Iraqis who need food, water, jobs, and real safety and make friends with them. And chill out our own American military "thrusts" to attack insurgents at their "strongholds."
In other words, do what you should have in the first place. Create a better relationship with those that would shit on own futons and stop crapping on the futon ourselves for that matter.
As for the snotty end of my fuckstick, if you know a woman who has training in fuckstick snotty end maintenance and care, please send her my way. Thanks.
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