Now where will I get my carnival death metal?

My freshman year at Virginia Tech, I was confused. I had just moved in, I had already gotten in a huge fight with my roommate (a friend from high school) over a girl I liked that he had sex with, the dorm fridge I rented was broken, I had already missed a class, and this was only my first week of college.

Depressed and lonely, I was unlocking the door to my dorm room and stopped when I heard what I thought was a porn film coming from across the hall. The sound of the porn film, though, seemed to be two men, and one man saying, "Ooh, cheeks. Tight fucking cheeks." So I peeked in. That's when I met Steve (with whom I had a huge falling out later that year, again over a girl), and that's when Steve introduced me to Mr. Bungle.

The first Mr. Bungle album is brilliant, and it was very influential on my life. Had it not been for that album, I may never have come to love absurdist theatre or expressionist art or avant-garde music. Seriously, it had that much of an impact on my aesthetic.

The second album, Disco Volante, is even more brilliant-er. Each song is a completely different nightmare, contextually and audibly. I scored a really, really, really, really, really crappy movement piece I directed my senior year with selections from "The Bends," a series of musical variations on the theme of drowning.

The third album, "California," is not quite as brilliant. At first I thought it was crap, but it took two years for me to get it, and now I think it's better than average.

And now Mr. Bungle has broken up. Sure, I can fulfill my urges for sputtering mayhem with the various Mike Patton projects put out by his Ipecac label, like the always entertaining yet completely annoying Fantômas, but I hope one day, he can find the creative outlet for another obscene, breakneck-speed ska-metal masterpiece like "Squeeze Me Macaroni":

I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceeded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you Baby Ruth it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here I come
I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby

I was givin' some head to some French bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' French fries in my Fruit of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon

I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my ass
I stick my wiener in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans

Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll fuck it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop poop scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with dick cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!

Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown & runny
Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some humpin' rump roast

Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana
Fuckin' Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana

Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna

You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
"Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough...Tall man

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby

We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Patton and company. You will be missed by a great deal of dirty little boys and dirty little boys at heart.