My Confusing Relationship with Starbucks
My relationship with Starbucks is an odd one. The pits of my stomach rumble with discomfort whenever I step foot in one, and it's not just the coffee that does it.
On the one hand, we have Starbucks the corporation that has driven smaller coffee houses out of business, usurped an entire artists' culture and homogenized it for the masses, and raised America's caffeine levels dangerously high. Soon it won't be Big Tobacco; it'll be Big Coffee. Not to mention that I think their coffee tastes burnt and is overpriced, and they've done such a great job of hooking everyone on lattes that purveyors of a good, cheap cup of coffee, like Dunkin' Donuts, have raised their prices simply because they can.
On the other hand, Starbucks only sells fairly traded coffee. They pay living wages. They provide healthcare benefits for anyone who works 20 hours per week or more. Though the effect they've had on culture and competition could be construed as hazardous, they certainly know how to treat coffee producers and employees.
And also in Starbucks' favor: During the holidays, they sell what may be the most delicious beverage ever devised in the history of Planet Earth:
The Eggnog Latte
The bitter, over-roasted flavor is gone and replaced with nutmeg, cinnamon, and the creamy, smooth flavor and texture of eggnog. A venti is $4; it's still cheaper than crack, though just as addicitive. (Next time I order one, I should sneak in an airplane-sized bottle of spiced rum.)
Of the Starbucks Eggnog Latte, I can only repeat Mary Magdalene's lament from Jesus Christ Superstar: "I don't know how to love him."
8 Comments:
Roach here...Arlo, you are right, the Eggnog latte ie a decadent treat, and seems much healthier than chugging a bottle of Dean's Egg Nog, and I've been caught in that trap before. The spiced rum idea is genius, and you've just given me a great way to breeze through the holidays here at work.
I've been traveling, and away from a computer for over a week. In that time, I've consumed a minimum of 4 of the delicious confections you mention. I don't even LIKE eggnog. But damn, if those things don't send me into a little intellectual, blue-state tizzy.
I live out here in the land of the Coffee Contingent. And personally, I'm torn because i LUV Starbucks coffee. More than any other commercially-available coffee. It's the closest thing to schmancy euro-coffee I've tasted. The only thing better is the lead I make at home.
i loathed myself for this shameful Starbucks-love for a long time. but then I looked a little closer. Yes-- they're a mega-giant that is usually the first sign of gentrification when they come tromping through a neighborhood. But all the points about fair trade, and healthcare, etc., are good ones. A few weeks after i started thinking aboutthis and trying to assuage my Liberal Guilt, the Willamette Week here (poor man's hippie version of the Chicago reader) did an article about this very issue.
There are many, many worse things to feel guilty about. And many, many worse things to fear in the corporate-governmental takeover.
I'm going to saunter out a limb here. Eggnog Lattes are for pussies. You hear me? Pussies! That's right. Snuggle up with your Eggnog Latte and your bunny slippers under a warm comforter and watch Cheryl Ladd in Every Mother's Worst Fear on Lifetime or WE or whateverthefuck makes your television ovulate. That's right you limp-wristed prancing dandy. You heard me. What? What!? (…) Are you gonna cry? I'll spank your ass red, you little bitch. And you'll like it. Yes you will. You'll love it. You hot sexy little snatchbox lunch.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. It's just that I'm all mixed up too. You see, each Christmas season I'd go nearly bankrupt buying Eggnog Lattes from Starbucks for my girlfriend. Now? Well, I've got all the money I need for more "manly" drinks. Catch my drift, Amigo?
Yes, I'm a pussy. A big pussy with a huge patch. I like Eggnog Lattes. I can't drink bourbon. Cheryl Ladd reads me bedtime stories. For God's sake, I write for a blog. A BLOG!!! Damn, I am SUCH a pussy.
I am a coffee snob. Therefore, I've always looked down on Starbucks as sellers of milk and burnt bean coffee. My thinking started to change about 6 months ago when I went to noneother than a coffee tasting at Starbucks. One of the employees sat down a group of about 8 people and brought out different well brewed African and Pacific Island coffees and a tray of pastries and led us through tasting the different coffees (all black, which is a change for me) with their different complementary flavored pastries and treats.
What I learned was that Starbucks suddenly came up with this idea that they can sell coffee, not just coffee drinks, and that this meant educating the public about coffee and also roasting different coffees differently. So now Starbucks doesn't dark roast, i.e. burn, all its beans anymore. At the coffee tasting, by the way, we each got a 1/2 pound of any of the coffees we sampled that night.
I think fair trade coffee and treating employees well is great but it's even better when the company starts treating the coffee better too. I don't know if this trend is raging around the country or world but it seems that at least here, in the Portland, OR metro area, Starbucks is back to focusing on coffee and beans again. Thank the gods.
Fret not Mr. Arlo. There is no longer any call to be self-deprecating about being a blogger. Webster’s Dictionary has released their list of the most looked-up words of 2004. Guess which word topped the list? Go on, guess.
ps206: Indeed, one can only hope that the non-burning-of-the-bean extends further West. Perhaps I’m cynical, but I doubt it’ll happen soon. The larger culture (of which we are a part) reverences the West Coast when it comes to coffee (because y’all franchised the stuff), and therefore treat ‘em [West Coasters] nice and tender. But they make more money when they brew a bitterly strong brew and thereby push people into the diluted – and exponentially more expensive - lattes and cappuccinos; or by encouraging customers to just douse a 16 oz. with cream/milk after it has been effectively reduced to a 12 oz. by the “make-room-for-cream?” ruse. Conspiracy theory? You tell me.
Hvae you tried the Gingerbread Lattes??? Pure genius.
It wasn't until I moved to the northwest that I learned how good coffee can truly be. Until then, it was just a drug. cheap crank to make it through the day. In portland, in seattle, coffee is a delicacy--and no--it hasn't made it back east. My visits home to chicago in the last year have shown that there is no industry standard, and there are only about 16 natural-born americans in the city that know how to make a decent cup of coffee. even among those who work for starbucks.
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