I have strange friends...

Take this email, received just now:

When did escalators become fucking rides?!?! When did it become absolutely appropriate to gape at the glorious dualchrome view of your local office building while you get you fat ass lifted up 1/2 a filght of fucking stairs slower than I could crawl up with a torn achilles tendon. Heavens to FUCKING BETSY! Is THIS the time to chat and catch up with friends, discuss last nights episode of the Simpsons, moisturize your hands, and whatever bullshit you do when you have been waiting for the appropriate 19 seconds of your day that work out for you just so. For the love of FUCKING PETE!! Mosisturize you fucking hands somewhere else. Check your voice mail after I can get on with my fucking life. Lift those flabby quads just a little bit and work WITH the technology. Next stop appocalypse! The apes are gonna take over. Know why? Because they can fucking CLIMB SHIT!!!!!

Seriously!!!

For the record, I find escalators a fine way to climb stairs faster. I usually only stop for the ride when my way is impeded. Maybe it's a guy thing.