"What did I say? Don't look behind the fucking curtain. I looked right in your fucking face, and said, 'Don't look at the fucking man behind the fucking curtain.' And what did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO, DOROTHY?"

"Uh..."

"WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO, DOROTHY?"

"...I looked behind the curtain."

"You looked behind the fucking curtain. You looked behind -- do I look like a bitch to you? Huh? Do I look like a bitch?"

"No."

"No, I don't look like a bitch. I don't look like a bitch because I'm not a bitch. I'm the Wizard of Fucking Oz. And you're the bitch. (sigh) Okay what do you want?"

"I'd like a brain."

"You're walking. You're talking. Go read a fucking book and quit being a fucking cunt. How about you?"

"I'd like a heart."

"You followed this little bitch every-fucking-where and saved her ass from that wicked whore. I don't have to give you shit. Fuck off. How about you?"

"C-c-c-"

"C-c-c-fucking what?"

"C-c-c-courage."

"Here, take this Glock. It's all the courage you need."

"I'd like to go home."

"Click your Pumas together. All of this is a God damn dream, anyway. Now fuck the fuck off."

(The Wizard walks off to the strains of some obscure song from the 1970s.)