It was a fun weekend in Chicago. Apparently, The Dave Matthews Band (although they deny it), dumped shit on a group of tourists. Apparently, the waste was jettisoned during a bridge crossing and landed on a tour boat. Now, speaking as a fish who lives in the Chicago River, it's important for me to stress that we got lucky this time…we may not be so lucky in the future. If we're not diligent, this kind of "accident" will most assuredly become "policy". And as fish, we can't tolerate that. We'll die. Literally. I'm not fooling around on this. We rely on a large expanse of water, and skyward gaping tourists won't always be there to shield us from the gathering shitstorm.