I'm going to try not say too much about Alan Keyes in the future, but I would like to issue an open apology to the citizens of this great country for the recent behavior of the Illinois Republican Party. While I am politically opposed to the GOP, I nevertheless have a great deal of respect for some of the fundamental principals of republicanism. Furthermore, it is in the interests of us all to engage in a continual and vociferous debate about the multitude of ideas we, as individuals, hold dear – whatever they may be. Therefore, when the intellectual infrastructure of a major political party in an important state abnegates it's responsibility to contribute to the debate, it is a matter that concerns us all. The regrettable expulsion of Jack Ryan from the Senate race can be likened to an Olympic runner spraining his ankle the day before his scheduled event. To extend the metaphor, instead of substituting a healthy team member to replace him…the Illinois GOP has flown in an incontinent quadriplegic with epilepsy. The other athletes gather on the track in tense anticipation. They have trained tirelessly - for years - for this grand opportunity to prove their measure against the best the world has to offer. From the darkness, a wheelchair is hastily pushed out onto the track by a man in a sweat-stained suit. Halting at the starting line, he dumps the wheelchair on its side and it deposits its contents: the undiapered and incoherent Alan Keyes. Unable to stand (for he has no limbs), Keyes groans loudly and emits an erumpent blast of anal wind. The crowd grows silent. A shadow of shame blankets the arena – the sun is shrouded in blackness by the wing of a thing too big to see. I'm going to try not say too much about Alan Keyes in the future.