I saw Alien Vs. Predator yesterday, and as much as I enjoyed the mythology that was created to explain why the Predators were versus the Aliens and Lance Henricksen's homage to his original role as an android, the action kind of sucked, the script totally sucked, the violence was too quickly edited (ruining potential edge-of-your-seat suspense), and the ending special effects reaked of Jurassic Park.

However, let's fess up to and accept the existence of this new movie genre: _____ Vs. _____. Freddy vs. Jason, and now Alien vs. Predator. It's here to stay, and on behalf of Hollywood, I'm sorry. We've simply run out of ideas.

The normally inspired Jason Kottke presents Hollywood, remixed, a collection of a few new "Vs." movie ideas. His are ridiculous. "Gandhi vs. Tootsie"? Now you're just being silly, passing off pulling-names-out-of-a-hat with real creativity. If we're going to face a glut of movie mash-ups, then let's think of good match-ups, huh? (Besides, we all know that Tootsie would kick Gandhi's ass.)

After some discussing with friends and my brother this weekend, I think we have a few that would actually work, and perhaps with hilarious results:

Chucky vs. Leprechaun
The Stuff vs. The Blob
Superfly vs. The Fly
Toxic Avenger vs. Sloth
Gossamer vs. Sully (Updated)

Fark's Photoshop Contest of the same concept resulted in fair output. The inspired are Borg vs. Death Star, Ripley vs. Connor, and The Incredible Mr. Limpet vs. Nemo.

Got more? Send 'em my way.

UPDATE: Kelly's suggestion: Wadd vs. The Black Hole. I guess when I started thinking of this, I was trying to think of fair fights that could also be funny. Sorry, Kelly, but John Holmes would tear that Black Hole wide open, and it wouldn't be funny; it'd be HOT.

However, Maximillian vs. No. 5 -- now we're talking.

You listening, Hollywood? You owe me a check.

UPDATE (8/20/04): My buddy Harry has the right idea: C3PO vs. Val.

Furthermore, this week's Chicago Reader reviews Alien vs. Predator and not only comes up with a ridiculous one -- Jesus vs. Mothra -- but mentions that one scene shows an old movie on a television -- Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. I guess it's not a new genre after all. Shows you how much I know.