If some Illinois GOP idiots get their way, Barack Obama's senate opponent may be Mike Ditka. Why?

Because we need him. It's that simple. Coach would lend some much needed mainstream credibility to a rising party. He could allow us to reach out to voters not normally within the GOP spectrum.

After all, who cares about issues. The GOP needs Mike Ditka because Mike Ditka can win.

I can't see Mike Ditka running for senate, though.

First of all, Mike Ditka is a simple restauranteur, the kind of modest businessman that would run for alderman first.

Mike Ditka makes more money with less effort helping men pitch a tent than he would helping the GOP pitch the mythical Big Tent.

Most importantly, Mike Ditka was so successful spearheading the Superbowl Shuffle because he don't take no crap from nobody, no how, no way. As a Senator with no political experience, propped up to run only to prevent Dems from taking a seat, Mike Ditka would be the GOP's lame-duck whipping boy.

Besides, those political candidate draft dealies never work. Right?

Mike, if you're listening, please don't run. Not only because Obama deserves to win, but because you don't deserve to be anyone's bitch. And if you can't turn the New Orleans Saints around, you probably can't turn the ILGOP around.