So if Republicans are assholes for chasing Clinton with pitchforks and torches because he let an intern blow him, are we assholes for enjoying Jack Ryan's alleged attraction to sex clubs?

I'm here to say yes. Yes we are. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Jack Ryan, presumed GOP Illinois senate candidate, allegedly wanted his ex-wife, according to the divorce papers, to "perform a sexual activity" in front of strangers at a sex club. Like Clinton before, Ryan's opponents will say this alleged deviant activity reflects poorly on his character and his presumed ability to lead. And like Clinton before, I'm here to say that it's not true.

First of all, he allegedly tried to get his wife to engage in "sexual activity" three times. Now don't we want a leader who is persistant, who has a clear goal and never wavers from it?

Plus, unlike Clinton, Jack Ryan repects the sancity of marriage, and wanted to demonstrate his love and admiration for his wife. All Ryan allegedly wanted to do was say, "My wife is the hottest trekker since Nichelle Nichols! And look how well she is performing this sexual activity that I requested! Yeah! I came in her hair!" Really, is that wrong? It's not like he asked an intern to do it; he asked his wife. Three times. To be on the receiving end of so much respect, Jeri Ryan was stupid to let him go.

No, we shouldn't revel in Jack Ryan's allegedly exhibitionist desires. And what do I know? Let's hear it from Ryan's own mouth:

"Well, we were married for almost eight years," he said. "The worst of that was over ... eight years that we went to places that she felt uncomfortable. That's the worst of it.

"If that's the worst, then I think people will say, gosh, that guy's lived a pretty clean life."

Yes, you have, Jack Ryan. We have no business faulting you for allegedly taking your wife to a place that you knew full-well would make her uncomfortable. We should not laugh with victorious glee that you allegedly tried to coerce her into "performing a sexual activity" that you knew she doesn't want to do. And that you allegedly did it three times -- what could that possibly mean to a voter?

How can we let such alleged behavior cloud our judgement of what kind of a leader Jack Ryan would be? After all, our current president alleged killed small animals in his youth, skipped out on his military duties, and drove every business he ever ran into the ground yet still profitted from them -- how could anything he did in his past reflect on what kind of a president he would become?

Therefore, I'm glad Barack Obama is sticking to the issues and ignoring what Ryan allegedly did to his wife three times despite her pleas to the contrary. According to a recent poll, Obama is leading Ryan by 11 points, a poll that came out before we learned that Ryan is an alleged sex-club addict. Obama is going to win in November because he's sticking to the issues, not because he's throwing mud in Ryan's face like so many sex-club facials.

Both of these men want to be senators because they only want what is best for others, as you can plainly see. And we should respect their privacy.