Here's the final word on the 2000 presidential election: American IQ!

Also, the hotly anticipated data for 2004 has finally arrived regarding sexual habits in Milwaukee:

Women…had fantasies about having sex with police, firefighters and people in uniform and strangely for an urban setting a number of women wanted to have sex with a cowboy.

Yeah! I knew spending a month's pay on cowboy boots wasn't as stupid as my girlfriend told me it was. You hear that baby!? Chicks dig me. So shove it, cupcake. I'm gonna saddle me up a slice of gutter-trout and open her range up wide – YEE HAW!!

I'm ashamed to be who I am.