You’re beautiful baby. Hot. Like a burning bottle of gasoline. With a rag jammed in it. Yeah. You’re a bomb baby. You make my junk ache, baby. You make my junk swell up like a rooster’s breast at dawn…Yeah, like a cock’s boob. Morning wood. I feel it sliding down my leg, inside, warm and goopy like spit. Just the idea of you split open like a pear on a bed of mesclun lettuce makes me…Uh…wait a second. Sweetie? Is this…hello? Oh crap. Uh…is this? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my God! This isn’t…(shit!) This is the blog, isn’t it!? MotherFUC…(pause) Ahem…(pause) The problem with Kerry is that he has a senatorial record which, like a majority of previous senatorial candidates for President, will ultimately keep him from winning. Edwards, however, as a first term Senator, hasn’t developed a substantial enough record to define him as an “insider”; this is how Edwards has been able to avoid the curse of the Senate. (pause) Well? Was that pithy enough? …don’t answer, please. I know how this works. Here’s an obliquely referenced, profound, but largely irrelevant quote:

The important thing is to pull yourself up by your hair, to turn yourself inside out and see the world with fresh eyes.

Yes, I’m dazzled by own profundity. Aren’t you?