I have thus far refrained from making any campaign-related predictions on the grounds that (a) such predictions would be irrelevant, (b) such predictions would likely be wrong, (c) my ability to make such predictions is itself predicated on bogus data and hearsay, and (d) I’m a natural born sissy. No more. I’m driving around with a Dean for America bumper sticker on my car, any credibility I may have had as a clairvoyant is shot. I’m free. Free to say whatever I damn well please. And I plan on saying it with gusto. Here’s the deal: Edwards is going to clean Kerry’s clock. Kerry is going to get shot, burned & buried. Stunned by Dean’s implosion, frantic to find a war hero, and simply unfamiliar with Edwards, voters understandably pulled the lever for Kerry. But when Edwards gets Kerry cornered behind a podium, all to himself, he’s going to kill him. Furthermore, I predict that Kerry will actually cry like a little girl when he is forced to concede defeat. God bless the old war horse, but he ain’t got the juice. We Dems like our politicians to have a little fire in their bellies, a touch of altruism wafting in their wake, and a youthful bounce in their gait. If Edwards beats Bush, there’ll be little to prevent him from being a two-term President. Kerry? Don’t hold your breath. Now, Edwards may seem a little hokey… and he may talk a little too much about looking out for the little guy, but that kind of talk works. It works. People always said about Clinton: “Yeah, he screws you. But at least he tells you he loves you first.” Yeah, it works.