Ah, it's that time again. The Republicans are burbling and cooing and starting to split their zippers. The "Passion" movie, Lent, the "defense" of marriage, Clear Channel yanking up the jackboots…that's riiiight, The Culture War is Back!

Apparently, sometime during the past three years Republicans downed one too many snifters of victory. In their tipsy delirium, they've quite clearly gone bonkers. It's as if they've completely forgotten that the 1992 Republican National Convention had ever taken place. No…that's not it. It's like…let's see. It's like they're unaware that Kant's Critique of Pure Reason was ever written. Yeah. It's like that.

I've been anxiously awaiting the complete meltdown of Fox News, and I've got a feeling that 2004 is my lucky year. No matter your political views, a human person can only take so much mindless flag waving, gay-bashing, infantilizing, preachy finger pointing, and corporate rim-jobbing. After awhile, no matter how rough your constitution, you can't help but burp up a little vomit.

And so here we are, fresh on the heels of a bogus war in Iraq, poised to charge back into the trenches of an unwinnable culture war. Charge on Mr. Bush, you big, dumb Icarus. Charge on.