Well, now that we’ve all seen how Arlo’s Iowa predictions have played out, allow me to offer some predictions of my own:

The candidate with the most womanly, sissified, and surrendering disposition will be the next one to buckle under the ungodly weight of Dubuque opinion and withdraw his candidacy. (Ah…ah…ah…GHEparDT!! *snif* Pardon me.)

George Bush will issue a statement insisting that he has nothing to say about the latest news coming out of Iowa because he doesn’t read the news. He’ll say something like, “Leadership is about leading and ships, not about sitting around reading news and that kind of thing”. Fox News will praise his “simpleton mystique” and declare him immortal.

Michael Jackson will intentionally set his “great big silky shoulder-length Jackie Kennedy Ocean-Spray-curl” hair on fire in an attempt to gain the sympathy of his jury.

Gov. Dean will slip quietly out the backdoor of his campaign headquarters in New Hampshire, take a redeye flight to Washington D.C., and ambush Karl Rove and his junkie hooker fish-puppet mistress in a dark alley, bludgeoning them both to death with a sledgehammer.

Alright, maybe that last one is a little unlikely. Dare to dream.