This morning as I stood on a frigid corner waiting for a walk signal and eyeballing a particularly bodacious turd-cutter waiting alongside me, it occurred to me that the real dilemma facing us in this election is not which pony to bet on, but whether or not the nominee will shoot to kill. The oft-maligned "intelligentsia" backed Dean because, as educated and informed citizens, they have a weakness for the truth. The truth is, of course, that Bush is the worst thing to happen to America since smallpox. An honest victory in November would need to be predicated upon bringing this truth into the light. Being positive, manly, cute or well funded is all well and good, but it won't make a substantive difference in the character of our country unless the message remains brutally honest: Bush is wrong and stupid. To that end, it would serve our candidates well to retire the worthless and insulting habit of consulting "talking points". The discussion needs to return to deep, rock-solid truth. To help out, I suggest that you pepper your political discourse with the following axioms:

War is an unholy shitpile of misery, death, necrophilia, and hopelessness; not a strategy for human betterment.

We are all taxed. To deprive some Rockefeller Fauntleroy of his 5th yacht so that an orphan can have his broken arm set does not deprive him [Rockefeller Fauntleroy] of the fruits of his efforts and thereby the foundation of his liberty; it educates him on the meaning of the word "fair".

John Ashcroft anointed himself with Crisco for Gods sake.

A clean environment is a good thing. There is no need to apply any "buts" to that statement. There is no need to put any qualifiers on it whatsoever, or interject some non sequitur about "jobs". Just let it sit there, all by itself: A clean environment is a good thing. See? There's a kind of simple truth there.