Another e-mail!!!

Arlo:

Man, you're nuts. I just spent a good chunk of my day sifting through your blog and Jesus McChrist if you ain't the oddest sack of batshit East of the Pesos. Hey, I appreciate a good political 'round-up' as much as the next fella (maybe more)...but you've got me plum plumaged! Kucinich? Moseley-Braun!? Dude. See this? This is blood trickling from the corners of mouth. Acerbic and self-righteous blowhards like myself have to bite our tongues pretty hard sometimes just for the sake of friendly relations. But don't worry, (oops, just dab it with cold water) I won't subject you to a long-winded exegeses of my views; I fulfill my odd itch to pontificate about politics by staying up all night, every night, writing all my lofty thoughts in a tortured calligraphic longhand on rice-paper parchment. I've been using the fruits of this exercise to construct a life-sized papier-mâché sculpture of Nipsey Russell in my bathroom. Maybe one day you'll come over for a bowl of chili and you can enjoy Nipsey while you blow some mud. In the meantime, however, I will offer one small bit of advice on how to achieve a slightly more enlightened perspective on national politics: unplug your television.

Happy Veteran's Day.
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/

Yours,
K----- "Gutfuck" C-----
Pfc. Intellectual Elite, Div. 2

[Name withheld because I didn't ask permission before posting this e-mail. Not that I ever ask, but still... -Arlo]

Thank you for entertaining me with your Joyce-on-crack stream of consciousness.

I would like to respond to that last little bit. I subscribe to The Nation, and my newsreader software at work is overflowing with RSS feeds. My only real television news viewing other than flipping through is Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" on MSNBC; granted, it's headlines presented in bite-size, processed covered in tangy barbecue sauce -- i.e., it's devoid of any real nutrition -- but its still the best news show you're not watching. I also endure the occasional Bill O'Reilly*, Sean Hannity, or Joe Scarborough so I can keep my enemies closer, as the adage goes.

So, gutfuck, you can take that Nipsey Russel sculpture and flummox your plum!