Screw the anticounterfitting measures in the new $20 bills. What I like is that our money is looking more and more like pre-Euro European money, with large faces, different colors, sleeker design choices -- like, say, the franc, ha-ha-ha. Since the $20 is the most counterfitted bill, it makes sense to start with that.

However, why don't they change the one-dollar bill? The US is simply not a big fan of coins, including myself. I throw all of my change (sans the quarters, which I save for laundry) into a big beer stein that I affectionately refer to as my Powerbook* fund. And the jingle-lingle-ling of change in my pocket makes me think of unfortunately infectious one-hit wonders.

So why a no new one? My theory -- soft drink machines. Already machines that could read all bills had to be changed. If the one-dollar bill was changed, nearly every soft-drink machine in America would need to be retrofitted.

Don't you see, though? Change the one-dollar bill, and the companies that make soft drink machines will have to make new bill readers, and the drink bottlers will have to buy the new bill readers and pay the technicians to install them. Then, they'll have to raise the price of soft drinks. Because we like (read "are addicted to") our soft drinks -- I drink at least one fizzy, canned, caramel-colored Coca-Cola product a day -- we begrudingly pay it, but at least that one industry got some new jobs and new money fed into it.

I beg the US Mint -- save our economy and the jobs of soft drink machine manufacturers and technicians -- change the one-dollar bill.

(Okay, this entry wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.)

*I saw a 17" Powerbook up close finally yesterday. It's not the lunch tray I thought it would look like. It's actually not to unreasonable to carry. Though, I'm still waiting on an updated 15".