An oil tanker breaks in half. The UN has unfettered access to Iraq. The FBI has unfettered access to American citizens. James Coburn is dead.

But what's the big news today? Rich people can finally zip around town and look stupid while doing it. Thank GOD, Mr. Kamen. We simply couldn't wait another minute, but it's finally available for purchase: The Segway.

The Segway is a pretty amazing feat of engineering. Nothing rubs against anything in the motor, so there's no need for oil. It gets an amazing amount of power out of a very small package. And the whole gyroscope thing is pretty neat. The conjecture is that Segway has more to do with introducing the technologies involved than it is actually selling a viable vehicle.

Unfortunately, all of this incredible technology was introduced as a dumb looking scooter. Hopefully this thing will not go the way of the NeXT (which was an amazing, albeit overpriced computer) but will instead simply be like TiVo -- no one gets it at first, but eventually the technology evolves into something people understand.

I think a larger version of the Segway motor could end up in efficient, emissions-free electric cars, our president's worst nightmare.

Oh, by the way, I love it that Iraq is cooperating completely now. Sorry, King George. If you want more oil, you'll just have to drill Alaska.